Love

Introduction to Gratitude

0:00Welcome to the Art of Gratitude with Margaret Alvarez, that's me, creativity coach, artist, and art teacher, teaching people how to combine creativity and mindfulness for their own mental well-being. I am so happy that you're here with me today for episode 10, where we talk about love. That's right, we're going to talk about love. This was Valentine's week, and so, you know, how appropriate for me to pick this subject, and let's get into it.

0:35Alright, so let's start with oxytocin. What is oxytocin? It is a hormone that is released when you feel those warm and fuzzy feelings of love. I heard about this hormone for the first time when I was having a child, and they talked about that hormone that you release when you have your baby in your arms for the first time. It's just that beautiful, wonderful, lovely feeling.

1:05Research shows that expressing gratitude releases oxytocin, the love hormone is what they call it, which builds greater connection. So, this connection that we feel to whatever we are appreciating, whether it be a person, place, or thing, is pretty important. That is why love and gratitude are so intertwined, because of that connection that we feel.

1:36It's important to feel connection, because it just makes you feel more alive. It makes you feel happier. It makes you feel like everything is going to be okay, which is kind of, you know, I guess, cheesy. And a little bit, you know, I don't know, cliche to say, oh, you know, as long as you're putting your love out there and appreciating life, then everything just feels great, and you have good days, and we are all human.

2:08And that's just not how it works all the time. So, I'm a realist. I get it. Like, I'm not saying that this is the only thing to make you happy, but it is really important. And it's something that I practice. It's something that I use. And so, why not make the connection to what, you know, why love is important and why gratitude and love go hand in hand?

Love and Relationships

2:37What about love and relationships? So, we're talking about connection. Harvard Health shows that couples who show gratitude for their partners and who express gratitude regularly feel more positive towards their partners. That was in a study done in 2021. I mean, it's kind of obvious when you appreciate somebody, they're going to want to do more to have you appreciate them more. It's just kind of like this cycle. But it also happens when you are giving gratitude, when you're in gratitude, when you are sharing the love, when you are in that.

3:15It's like this cycle that happens and you see it in relationships. You can see it when you use gratitude regularly. It's like you give gratitude, you're in gratitude, you appreciate life, and then life gives you more to appreciate. And that is the magic that happens. That is the formula. And so, you know, when you're in a relationship, love is obviously a big part of that relationship.

3:46And this is any relationship. It can be a relationship with a partner. It can be a relationship with your friends. You know, we see this when we work. You know, when our bosses appreciate us and tell us we're doing a great job, you want to do more. When you're recognized for your work, you want to do more. It's just this cycle that happens and it's a natural thing. But we don't always look at it that way. And sometimes we forget because life is crazy and things get busy and we don't always pay attention to all of the little details.

4:20And sometimes we get lazy and we don't want, you know, we don't want to put forth the effort in a relationship to tell that person, you know, maybe. There's so many things. It can get really overcomplicated when it comes to relationships.

Self Love and Reflection

4:34So let's talk about self-love. Self-love. Okay. So, you know, this is something that has come up a lot. And when I started doing the gratitude art journaling and the workshops, and when I started calling myself a creativity coach, a lot of the talk was around self-love. And how do we do this for ourselves? How do we take care of ourselves? Because we were going through a pandemic and people were starting to realize, you know, had to kind of get really close to themselves and the people around them because there was nowhere else to go.

5:10So what came out of that were a lot of conversations about what do we do to take care of ourselves? Because mentally, you know, as our country was going through this pandemic, well, everybody was, the whole world was. But mentally, we could see that shift of, oh, man, I need to start taking care of myself a little bit better because everything slowed down. We were stuck in our houses, we were not moving around and doing our regular everyday routines. And it made us kind of flip the switch and look at ourselves.

5:44Like, what are we doing to take care of ourselves? And, you know, now we're going through this mental health crisis where people, you know, are committing suicide. And this is a very dark and deep subject, but it is the reality. What can we do to change that? What do we need to do for ourselves? I mean, honestly, it's an inside job. We have to, you know, look at ourselves and be kinder to ourselves and give ourselves a little bit of grace because life is hard.

6:16It is not easy. This is, this is, there are a lot of things that happen and, you know, we come and we go and, you know, the world is crazy and there's all of this stuff happening. And it's like, how do you balance it all? You have to take care of yourself. Self-love, self-love. Self-love, so important. And a huge part of what I teach is to stop for a moment, take a moment and reflect. Be in gratitude. Be creative.

6:46Try to do something to kind of put your brain in a different place. Get in the flow and take all of those feelings and emotions and the things that you're going through because of this crazy world and channel it into something good, which is a journal. And so it's really important that we look at what it actually is. It's not just having fun and being creative. It is a, it's, it's a tool really to cope with life and everything around us.

7:18And it is a form of self-love to take a moment out of your week, out of your day, to be in gratitude, to journal, to, to reflect, right? Such a heavy topic. Like, it's, it's like, I've got my, my heart rate goes up when I start talking about all of this because it's really, really important.

7:39So how do we sum it all up? What, what do we do to kind of recognize and do all the things that we need to do for ourselves? First of all, we need perspective. We need to be present, you know, just really be present with ourselves. We need to appreciate because we all have the ability to appreciate and we all have the ability and we all make choices and direct our energies towards things. And so if you find yourself in a negative place, quite often, you know, you have to, you have to learn to look at the big picture.

8:18And that's not really hard. I mean, that's not really easy for a lot of people that can be really difficult actually to be present. But once you start recognizing and you have that awareness of, you know, appreciating life for what it is, it flips a switch. It turns everything, it makes everything different. Um, you start to find yourself having more reasons to be happy. You start finding more reasons to love and, you know, you just, you start appreciating little things, you know, it's, it's crazy.

8:52Once you start practicing the gratitude regularly and really focusing your mind on, on what you appreciate and you start thinking in that way, you start changing your brain to think in that way, you will start to have more reasons to appreciate. And that's just, that's the science of it all. It really does happen that way. So I want to talk about this Einstein quote that I found while I was doing my love research.

9:23And it says, love is light that enlightens those who give and receive it. Love is gravity because it makes some people feel attracted to others. Love is power because it multiplies the best we have and allows humanity not to be extinguished in their blind selfishness. Love unfolds and reveals. So going back to what I was just saying, giving yourself some perspective, being present, just stopping for a moment and looking around and seeing the big picture.

9:58That's when these things start to enlighten you. That's when you start to really understand and, you know, appreciate. I feel like this also obviously comes with age. You know, the older you get, the more you understand what your parents would tell you or, you know, the more you start to appreciate the little things in life. That's what's important.

10:24So in conclusion, I think that we can all say that we have the capacity to love, to be loved, to love ourselves. We have this and it is our jobs to recognize it. And so for your homework, I'm going to have you draw a heart map. This is an exercise that I've used for a long time. I'm going to post a video on Instagram showing you how to create a heart map. And then the heart map is basically a list of everything that you're passionate about.

10:58People, places, things, just kind of things that conjure up the love feeling. That oxytocin. And so these are just things that you can reflect on. And it's just a cool exercise. It looks cool. And I think you'll really enjoy it. So I know that with everything that I share, that, you know, I try my hardest to help people to change their perspectives. And to try to incorporate the gratitude because I know how much it works for me.

11:33And that's how I feel like I'm giving back. So hopefully this exercise, this podcast, whatever I'm doing is, you know, creating that ripple effect. That's what I love about what I do. And so I hope that you will find value in this exercise and also just thinking about love and gratitude in a different way. Thank you all for being here. Thank you for listening. And I will talk to you very soon. And if you don't already, you can follow me on Instagram under My Artsy Coach, Facebook My Artsy Coach, Margaret Alvarez on YouTube, and check out my website, myartsycoach.com.