Self-Reflection

Introduction

0:00Hello and welcome to the Art of Gratitude with me, Margaret Alvarez, your artsy coach, creativity coach, artist, art teacher, and mental health advocate teaching you how to combine creativity and mindfulness for your own mental well-being. So happy that you are joining me today. I know it's been a little bit since I've recorded a podcast, but I'm back with some insight. Um, so today we are going to flip the script a little bit and we are going to look at ourselves and dig a little bit deeper into who we are.

0:36Um, and I have been inspired to do this lately, um, and reflecting and looking at myself and what I want for myself, what I want for my life has been kind of this ongoing thing that's been happening. Um, I feel like it comes with age. You start to want to figure out exactly what it is you want for the rest of your life. And, you know, it's a big question that we all ask ourselves, like, where are we, what are we doing and why are we doing this?

1:09And, um, I just recently had this epiphany and I just thought I might make a podcast about it just because I think it's important that we all look at ourselves and kind of dig a little bit deeper to figure out, like, what it is that you want. So why is this important right now? Why am I bringing this up? Why is journaling a huge part of this conversation?

Journaling Importance

1:34Well, what I try to do is I try to get people to use a journal for mental health, but also to reflect and to, you know, script and to, you know, kind of document your life. Um, and we're all kind of documenting our lives, aren't we? We all have our phones. We all take pictures. We all try to capture moments and, you know, in a way we're documenting and sharing a lot of our lives. And so why is journaling different from that kind of documenting? Well, because you are digging a little deep into a more personal journey when you are journaling,

2:09because this isn't necessarily something that you're going to read or show to people, although you can, and I do. Um, you know, this is a kind of a different kind of, you know, uh, dissection of our personal thoughts and journey, right? We are really using this as an outlet for whatever we're going through. And I think that, you know, as long as we're doing that and we're using it in this way, we're empowered to use it in this way. Um, I think that we really discover a lot about ourselves.

2:42So when we journal and do the work we need to make, uh, to make change, it's really important that we are honest with ourselves. Um, it is important that we, you know, we put it out there and we don't hold back. Um, what are we trying to do? Who are we? What do we need? You know, all of those questions that we ask ourselves, um, you know, are really important questions and we need to be honest and really, you know, put it on paper so that we can reflect on it later.

3:16Um, so we can figure it all out and the reason I, uh, I, I really thought that this would be a good topic, um, for, you know, this podcast is because I was reading a book and it had a lot of thoughtful exercises and it made me analyze myself, which, you know, is something I hadn't done in a good long while. And when you analyze yourself, it kind of changes you a little bit, uh, you read your own words as a person looking in rather than, you know, you know, it's, it's just different.

3:47You, you will be completely and totally honest and then you go back to it and read it and you go, oh man, you know, this is who I am. This is what, this is what I put on paper. Like this has to be real. Right. Um, and that's what this made me do. Um, I've heard it's an inside job a lot lately. Um, this idea that you can't be happy unless you're happy on the inside. Um, it's so true and also, um, a realization that you really don't come up with until you get older and you realize like, oh my gosh, you know, I,

4:24I need to get right with myself if I want to move forward in a positive way, in a healthy way. Um, and you know, we all see it in other people. Um, this is really clear when you see a wealthy person who's completely unhappy, for example, like they have everything that they need, but they're still unhappy because they're not right with themselves. Um, and you know, they're unfulfilled and, you know, it's because we search so much for happiness and can, to be content and satisfied.

5:00Um, and yet, you know, we're looking for outside sources to make us happy and content and satisfied. And really what we have to do is kind of dig in, um, because when all of those things are gone or when, when, when you get over the, having the, the, the new thing or the material stuff that you've always wanted, it's like, what's left? Um, you, you start to realize that you don't really need too much to be happy. Um, and it's a whole, it's a whole conversation.

Reflecting on Yourself

5:30Um, and so what we're trying to do with this, what I'm trying to do is try to get you to think about reflecting on yourself, um, really being honest with yourself. Are you happy? What makes you happy? You know, all of those questions, being honest with yourself and making a list of the things that your accomplishments or, you know, things that, that make you, you, things that you're grateful for. Um, and really digging into that, um, once you get down to making that list, um, you need to figure out what it's going to take to make you happy.

6:10Um, you have to figure out what it is that you need to be, and be very clear about it, um, as you move forward. I think that we, as humans figure, you know, if I'm asking for something this big, there's no way it's going to happen. If I'm asking, you know, to, to, to have this thing or to be this person, um, how is it possible? You know, I think we question ourselves a lot and we don't believe in ourselves enough sometimes to know that like this thing is possible and you can do it.

6:43Um, you can have all the things that you want in life. Um, you just have to ask for, you have to know exactly what you want. You have to put it out there. Um, and I tell people this all the time, you know, when you're, when you're listing your gratitude and when you're trying to practice gratitude, you can be grateful for things that you don't have yet, you know, and those things will manifest into your life. But you have to, you know, appreciate what you have first, and then you have to be really clear about what, what it is that you want in your life.

7:13Um, and all of this is honesty. All of this is, you know, digging deep. All of this is who you are. Sometimes what we need is to just write it all out and to read it days later to kind of reflect on it. So that's my ask for you in this, um, episode is to, to reflect on yourself. Ask yourself the hard questions. You know, what are you grateful for now? What are some things that you want to accomplish? Um, what are some changes that you need to make in your life to, to make those things possible?

7:45Um, and be honest with yourself. You know, I, I realized that, you know, a lot of what I do is I try to please everybody. And I go way above and beyond, you know, I go above and beyond for people. And I, and I, I push myself to the limits. And then once I am completely exhausted and tired and don't have the energy for my own personal needs, um, you know, I start playing the blame game.

8:16You know, I start getting upset or, you know, I get an attitude or I get a, you know, it's like I'm doing it. I'm sabotaging myself because I just want everything to be perfect and it just can't be. And I'm working on that for myself. I have to start being honest. And, you know, um, that's a huge, that's a huge deal. And you have to kind of look at those hard parts of yourself and really see what it is that needs to change so that you can move forward and you can do all the things that you want to do.

8:48And sometimes that means, you know, taking a break and, and just, and doing something for yourself, um, like taking a break is really difficult. Um, I know it's hard for me to sit down and do nothing, you know, um, but sometimes it's just what, that's just what we need. Now, I know that this can be hard for some people. Um, people make excuses for their behavior, um, you know, for not exercising or eating better, you know, practicing self care because they don't have time.

9:20Because, you know, you start to, to, um, make excuses and really you start to put things in the way of doing the hard work, which is looking at yourself. Um, but we all make choices. Um, you know, I make a choice to get up at the crack of dawn, uh, two and a half hours before anybody wakes up in my house to do what I need to do for myself. And I have to go to bed early to do this. I have to commit myself every night. It's a choice that I make.

9:51Um, and I could easily stay up later and sleep until, you know, six if I wanted to, but I choose to get up super early because that's a part of my routine. And I've been doing this for, you know, for a long time, for like 15 years, I've made the choice to, you know, get up extra early just to get my, my little routine in. And, and it, it works for me if I don't do it, you know, it kind of throws my whole day off. Um, but I made this choice and, you know, I'm not saying that you have to do that, but sometimes we have to look at what we have and say, you know, is it extreme?

10:29Yes, it's a little extreme if I'm being honest. Um, but it's, but it, it's something that I've committed to for myself. And even if it's extreme, you know, I, I have this thing that I hold very dear to my heart is having alone time and being, being by myself and, and really having that time to like do what I need to do. Um, so create a list, be honest and see what comes up for you. Um, what's it going to take to create real change in your life?

10:59What is it going to take, you know, to, to figure out what it is that is holding you back from becoming who you want to become? Um, and what are the things that you do? I mean, even it can be as simple as just writing out your, your routines and changing them. Um, you know, writing out what it is you want and all the things that it's going to take to get there. You know, you want to go on a vacation? Okay. Figure out what that vacation looks like. You know, price it, price the place you want to stay, price the airline tickets, price, you know, like all of the things and then write it all down.

11:36And then there's possibility, you know, okay, this is the amount of money I'm going to need now. How do I move forward and how do I get this thing that I want? You know, it's, it's really about reflecting, but also being honest and putting it on paper somehow makes it feel like, okay, I'm making progress. It really does. Um, and so that's what I want to encourage you to do. I want to encourage you to, to move forward with, you know, figuring yourself out, asking the hard questions, figuring out, you know, what it is you're happy with and what it is you're not happy with.

12:11And how can you change those things for yourself? Um, and you know, it can turn into something pretty huge.

12:21So my husband and I are taking a year off from drinking alcohol. And this is an example of something that we, a choice that we made. Um, this is something we chose not because we're alcoholics. Um, we just wanted to see what a social setting would be like without it. Um, it's so normalized now. Um, and you know, it's one of those things that, you know, it's, it's a social thing that we just don't think twice about. And we just decided that like, to be healthier, we want to see what we can do, how we can do it. Uh, we are approaching 11 months now.

12:51We're going to go a whole year and then see where we're at. Um, and it's uncomfortable. I can say, you know, we've been to, in a social setting, a party, um, where we are the only ones not drinking and, you know, it's uncomfortable. It can be really uncomfortable, especially when you're trying to start conversation. And, you know, it, it just is, um, you know, our cult, our culture just makes it very, very normalized. And so it has been a little bit of a challenge for us, but then after a while, you know, it, it, it's very eyeopening and you, you start to realize like, oh, well, no, we don't really need that.

13:26And you get used to doing something different, an alternative, sparkling water, whatever, um, you choose. But my point in bringing this up is, you know, at first it was really, really challenging. I can't lie, um, but it gets easier and like any change or habit, um, you just have to kind of figure out alternative alternatives. And, you know, we just, this past weekend went to a concert for the first time, you know, we had mocktails and dinner and then, you know, we've been drinking coffee and checking out coffee shops.

14:01And so we did that and, you know, we had a really amazing time, fully present, you know, fully, you know, like just ex experienced this and didn't think twice about whether we had a, you know, a beer in our hand while the concert was going on. It was amazing. It was a great show. It was a great time. Um, you know, my husband and I have been together for 20 years. It was, it's something I don't think that I would have done, uh, for this long on my own. It's, it's, you know, a social thing for us and, and it felt really good to, to just experience things on a different level and, you know, fully present and not having to do what, you know, whatever, what the norm is, right.

14:44Felt really good. And it was a bonding thing for us too. I think he and I kind of discovered things about ourselves that, you know, we didn't really realize. And that is just an example of making a choice, you know, to, to make some change in your life and, and see, you know, where it takes you. Um, will we not drink alcohol for the rest of our lives? I don't, I don't think so, but I mean, it really makes you, um, look at your relationship with certain things. Um, and for me, I, I, I'm going to look at alcohol in a different light because I took that much time away from it and thought, oh, I don't actually really need this.

15:21Do I, so it might make me, you know, second guess my second glass of wine or whatever you, I don't know. It was, it was just, it's just an example of doing the thing that scares you, doing something that is different, doing something that is not the norm and, um, you know, getting, gaining perspective. That's what this is all about.

Processing Feelings

15:45So lastly, you know, let's talk about the feelings because I always talk about how feelings are going to be the indicator of where you are in your life, how you're feeling at this moment, you know, what, you know, what's going on with you. So your feelings are always going to be an indicator of where you are energetically. And, um, using your journal, we take some of those scary emotions that we might be feeling, um, and we do something with them, right? We, we, we don't push them aside anymore. We put them right there. So saying, asking the question, like, are you happy?

16:20Are, you know, where do you want to be? Setting goals for yourself, showing up and saying, I, this is where I am and this is where I want to be. And how, how, what is it going to take for me to get there? And sometimes that might feel really scary. Um, and so what I try to teach people is just using your journal to just get those emotions out. And if it just means that you're listing, or if it just means that you are, you know, you're just reflecting on who you are as a person. Um, you know, the whole thing is channeling all of that craziness and sometimes, you know, anxiety and stress, you know, emotions and putting it into something can really be a comfort.

17:04And we need that. Um, especially today with as crazy as things have gotten, you know, in our world, you need a place to put things. And this is, this is your escape. This is where you can, your alternative, you know, to feeling all of these emotions and bottling them all up. And so, yes, this is about a reflection on yourself, but it's also about feelings and what do we do with those feelings and how do we process those feelings? So I hope that when you are done listening to this, you feel empowered to grab your journal, write all the things that you want for yourself and make positive changes that might impact your future and how you look at yourself and challenge yourself a little bit to, to do the things that, you know, you want to do.

17:57And, you know, this is a very, uh, it can, it can, you can go really deep on this and I, and I hope that you do, because like I said, I was reading this book, started writing down some truths about myself. And when I read them the next day, I was like, whoa, wow. Yeah, that's what I do. That's, that's me. And how can I change that? And how can I make it better? Or how can I, you know, make a positive change for myself? And so that's all I want to inspire you to do.

18:29This was kind of a long one, but I hope that you're inspired now to go and reflect and to journal and do all the, you know, things that you need to do to kind of, you know, dig deep. As I say, uh, I hope that you will join me again. Um, I will be back. I know that, that I take little breaks in between my podcasts, but, um, I have every intention of, of posting another podcast in the near future.

18:59And I hope you're there to join me. Have a great day and a good week and all the things. I appreciate you. And thanks for being here. Um, I'll see you next time.