Gertrude Stein Part 3: Devouring Her Sons!

0:00Please enjoy this ringback tone while your podcast is reached.

0:11This is Raquel and Chelsea, and you're listening to Baroque Bitches. Welcome to Baroque Bitches, your art history gossip podcast. I'm Chelsea. I'm Raquel. And we're going to get into the down and dirty tea on this highbrow fancy art.

0:46I'm trying to lift one eyebrow, and I'm realizing that I can't do that anymore. I used to practice, like, Ace Ventura all the time, which, oh, my God, can we just talk about? So I was messaging my friends about something. Let me take a sip of my white cloth. Yeah, I know. You're going to have a comment on this for sure. Jim Carrey. So here's the thing. Imagine that you go and get plastic surgery, and you think you're looking so good.

1:18And then you debut your new awesome look that you spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on to the world. And then they don't think it's you. They think you're a clone. And they think that it's literally not you. Like, Jim Carrey must be feeling so bad about himself right now. Can you imagine? So, okay, we do. I love conspiracy theories. Yes, you do. Raquel knows that I've always been. I'm susceptible.

1:49I could admit that. I'm very susceptible to conspiracy theories. I love when people get creative. I love anything Masonic, demonic. Like, give it to me. We also have, like, very vivid imaginations. Give me the draconians. Yes. Give me the Anunnaki. All day. I mean, watch Begonia. That's me. I'm not murderous. I'm not going to kill an alien. I don't want to kill any aliens. No. Even if they're being cruel, I don't want to kill them. But that Begonia, that's me.

2:20And then I was so justified. Anyway. Anyway. I just feel like, okay, so the Jim Carrey thing, I have obviously listened to the Jim Carrey thing. Me and Jim Carrey share some thoughts. Not all of them. I don't agree with all of his conspiracy theories. But he's clearly, he's in Hollywood. He has talked openly about secret cults and demonic practices happening within these circles and these predatorial powers.

2:52Right. And everybody's kind of written him off as being, like, too woo-woo, too crazy. Crazy. He's so funny. Ha-ha. He's a funny guy. It's already crazy. Anyway, anyway, I just feel like it does, it does, maybe, sure, and maybe he got Plastic Dendrine.

3:11He's also talked about, openly talked about having doubles and sending doubles to award shows. And, yeah, I don't, I don't know. I, it could be him. And it's like, well, you did the Sonic the Hedgehog movie. So maybe you are a fucking sellout that would be Plastic Surgery. Maybe that, maybe it did come to that, that you're just a fucking sellout now that got a change in eyeball color and, like, a new nose and new, total weird, freaky features. And he's also, I know that there's, like, history of depression and a lot of stuff, too.

3:45So I don't think we're dealing with, like, somebody that's fully stable, maybe. Yeah. It's what they want you to think.

3:54You don't know. Yeah, Chelsea has gone down. Well, I'm down to believe, I'm down to believe that, like, you know. And, listen, I think before I talk about this, because Raquel has helped me out of, like, a little, a little sprinkle of psychosis, which was all planned. Wasn't the first time, won't be the last time. Yeah, you met me in a state of psychosis, actually. So that was, like, that's my baseline with her.

4:26Whenever I'm not there, then I'm doing really good. I can handle it. I can handle it. I know what to do. But I want to, before I talk about some of this stuff, I want to take, this is my, we're coming into Aries season. This is my energy right now. I'm like, I'm all right, Pisces. Get away from me. I want Aries now. Let's go. I'm ready. But before we do that, let's all take, I want to take, like, a collective consciousness deep breath. So, breathe in light and love and friendship and good feelings.

4:58And breathe out anxiety and bullshit and shit that doesn't matter to you right now. You are hot, smart, and alive. You've got to say that in the mirror every morning, okay? I am hot, smart, and alive. Affirmations do work. And remember that knowledge is power if you are emotionally stable enough. Because sometimes knowledge is really fucked up, clearly, of, like, whoa.

5:29So, yeah. So, obviously. No, it's a good reminder right now. Ooh. Specifically. Ho! So, yeah. I, so, like, okay, okay. I have been, now that I know that my dad is listening to the podcast now. Hi, Steve. Hi, Dad. We have been bonding over some, because he's, like, low-key a little bit of a prepper. And so, we have been bonding a little bit of, like, the infrastructure might be crumbling. And he's like, oh, yes.

6:01That's my, do you have a go bag? I was like, what do you have a fucking go bag? Yeah, I need that. I know. What do I put in there? And he's like, ah, well.

6:11So, it's been good. And so, that's kind of funny. Of, like, need to go, get to go bag, gross potatoes. I do. If the infrastructure is fine and the economy is miraculously going to be okay, then you just have a cute little hobby. You garden. How cute. How fun. Of, like, hmm. I don't know. So, that's where I am. And my fucking, listen. I also meditate with rocks and blow cinnamon into my house every full moon. And I listen to Tool.

6:42Okay. So, I'm pretty woo-woo in the woo-woo esoteric knowledge conspiracy community, too. So, like, I'm here, even though I don't agree with all of it. And, yeah, my algorithm is, like, in this weird, I was just telling Raquel, my algorithm is in this weird, like, Christian place right now. It's really freaking me out. Isn't that the ultimate indoctrination? Like, you guys. And since last we spoke, when we were talking about all of this, my algorithm has shifted into, like, conspiracy theories.

7:13And I was like, oh, no. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. We're not. They're 300-year-old vampires. Or the moon isn't real. Oh, my God. I've never been there. I've never been on the moon. I have no idea, really. Resting in not knowing reality is a dangerous line to walk. It is. It is weird. But some of it I do look at is, okay, you might just be very creative.

7:43Well, I wanted to say thanks for being patient. I recently contracted pneumonia. So I've been overcoming that. And it's caused quite a delay in our production. But we're not gone. There was, like, a me of me being, like, mentally sick. And then there was, like, a me being, like, physically sick. So I'm on antibiotics. We're on the mend. I have so much to talk about. I've joined a water aerobics class.

8:15Oh, my God. Is there any tea? Oh, my God. So much. And you can hear all about my water aerobics class in our Patreon. So go check it out. Oh, hello there, you beautiful creature. Looks like you can't get enough of the Baroque Bitches Art History Gossip Podcast. Do you want more juicy tea? Join our Patreon for exclusive access to bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes content, exclusive voting power, digital downloads, fun merch, and more.

8:54Become one of us, one of us, by going to patreon.com slash baroquebpodcast, or clicking the link on our website, baroquebpodcast.com, or clicking the link on our Instagram at baroque.b.podcast. Thank you for your support. We couldn't do any of this stuff without you. We love you. I also wanted to thank Kathy, because we recently got a pretty scathing, awful review, and this one offset it for me.

9:34So, Kathy Ryder, thank you for saying you love the podcast. You've restored my faith in myself to be able to do this. It was such a nice comment, and we love you so much. So, thank you. Yeah, it's wild out there, you guys. I think just people are just angry at everything, so. It's okay. No, they hate us because they hate us. It's fine. We're used to it. We can handle it most of the time. Until we can't. Please don't be mean to us. Oh, there's so many, like, really boring podcasts that you can go listen to about art history and girl.

10:08Yeah, yeah. Go check out the other people. Check out all of them. And then we have, also on Patreon, a full episode coming for Inspiration Nations on Kent Mockman. Thank you, Sierra. We are so stoked. We love you. This one's so cool. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. We got serious stuff. We've been working on this Gertrude Stein all year. Oh, my. Yeah, we have been, like, yeah. We've been dealing with Gertrude, and we're going to get into the last one.

10:39This is the last episode. Oh, I'm, like, sad that it's not going to keep going. I could do this for months. I feel like we could still, we could still totally talk about it because there's a lot of, like, unanswered things here. So, the last installment of Gertrude Stein series will give us all this needed hope that we need. So, if you didn't get the last two, that's okay. Come to a stop. Okay? Okay. Don't be doing this while driving. Come to a stop, and you can go to our part one episode of Gertrude Stein.

11:10Yeah, and then the part two subsequently after that. Yes. So, let's see how she deals with it all. Because she's here, too. She is so here in the same exact timeline. So, let's visualize.

11:38We sit in silence while the world burns, patiently waiting for our gods to provide the justice that we so humbly requested.

11:48Did we do something wrong? Because death is among us now. We ask for peace, but maybe we weren't specific enough? Because what is peace without humanity? Right? Right? We avoid eye contact as we sit at opposite sides of the table, still breathing, still eating, but slowly decaying under the pressure of fear and shame and bewilderment. The only thing we do know is that we are not immune to the fate of man.

12:19The gods don't see privilege. They don't recognize entitlement or one's place in society or the most shallow virtue, wealth. They don't see your faith or your color or your gender or your education or your nation. All they see is cruelty. And man's cruelty is no match for the gods, for they have elaborate plans for us all. So, here we wait to learn, teach, help, and do our best to survive. All we can do is empower our friends while our leaders empower demons in black costumes and white masks.

12:55Which brings us to our gossip topic, Gertrude Stein devouring her sons, part three.

13:25Hell yeah. Pretty, pretty, pretty relevant. Like the same except for the robots. Oh, God. You could say industrial revolution anyway.

13:38Our girls saw two awards, so we do need this wisdom right now and a lot of kind of what should we do, what should we not do kind of vibes. Mm-hmm. Help each other? I mean, that's all I got. My advice will always be, like, be freakishly nice to each other. Like, full eye contact to make it weird. Like, I love you. I love you. I love your shirt and jacket combo. Yes, do that.

14:08Do that. Because it really... And helping others literally does boost your own ass dopamine. Yeah, that's actually true. It's also self-care, by the way. Fake it till you make it, baby. Yes.

14:22And that's Gertie's plan, too. She's not going to run. She's going to help. And don't worry. It's not all sad and freaky. There's some lighthearted tea in it, too. She's got, like, the perfect vibes to endure a wartime. Yeah, because she's, like, a hard-ass a little bit. My query is she doesn't give a fuck. Well, she can endure the first one. Uh-oh. So there's tea. There's tea, there's tea, there's tea. Okay, okay. So we might as well get into World War I. One. A-S-F.

14:53Fuck. Ugh. Ugh. Okay. I'm going to make this cute because, you know, war, war, war. But I think with our current situation and being Americans and all, we are the last ones who should avoid talking about war. Yeah, that's fair. God, what a fucked up fucking situation. Ugh. But we're going to make this good because we should know what the fuck is going on. Ah. So, of course, if you are paying attention in world history class, we learned about the

15:24assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Yeah. God, I hated that band, too. It was ugh. Okay. An unexpected heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne. So the prince, who was the actual heir, I guess he schmilled himself. And daddy died. So here comes this Archduke to rule, but he is still a Habsburg, like the incest-y ones. Franz's parents were cousins. Like, yeah, that's still going on.

15:54And Franz, he was very complicated. He was famously difficult to get along with, deeply religious and conservative. However, like, he wanted this kind of, like, phony reform. Sure. So this is where it's kind of confusing. So Franz wanted to give Slavic people more autonomy and, like, rights and shit inside the Austria-Hungary Empire. Okay. However, this underground group of Slavic nationalists called the Black Hand wanted Slavic independence, not just a couple of little rights here and there, under their oppressive regime.

16:33Right. They were sick of imperial rule and knew that these little rights proposed by Franz were just distractions from the big picture. They wanted freedom. They wanted independence. They don't want to fuck with y'all at all, dude. We want our own state, and we're totally down to use violence to get it, baby. So on June 28th, 1914, the Black Hand, allegedly, assassinated Franz Ferdinand in Bosnia as a way to dismantle the regime and force a split from imperialism.

17:09So you're like, bye. This is the bye. And, unfortunately, it's gone. So, yeah, it didn't work, mostly because Austria-Hungary's bestie, Germany, was like, oh, my God, let's go get revenge on Serbia together and, like, go crazy. We'll do whatever to help you. Sounds very annoying. So Austria-Hungary was like, oh, my God, thanks, Germany. We're going to do it. We're going to declare war on Serbia. It'll be totally fine.

17:40So it wasn't fine because Serbia. Well, yeah, it wasn't fine. It wasn't fine because Serbia is like, listen, I'm not this little thing. I'm besties with Russia, bitch. Yeah. And Russia was like, fuck Germany. I got you, Serbia. Oh, God. Girls and women in STEM. And then Germany. And then Germany heard about this, crashed the fuck out, and declared war on fucking everyone because she's Germany, including Russia and France.

18:17And then you think, like, why the fuck is France in all this bullshit? Like, what did she do? So France was already besties with Russia because of the Franco-Russian alliance. Okay. This alliance was literally made because Germany is sus as fuck hanging out with Austria-Hungary. And Italy, who didn't even like Austria-Hungary but had such a weak little military, and they were like, okay, you do have, like, a bunch of our territories, and we kind of want that back.

18:47So I guess we can form an alliance even though we don't like you. But then backed out because Austria-Hungary didn't want to give them their territories back, and then the allies were like, Italy, do you want that land back? Switch sides, and we'll get your stuff back. And then Italy switches back during World War II. She's a total, we love you, Italy, but they're not there. So here comes Germany with the Schleifen plan. So basically, let's get France first while Russia is, like, getting ready.

19:18So Germany invades Belgium and then France in order to fight Russia. And that's where our girl comes in. Jesus Christ. Hi! So, like, yeah, Europe is, like, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. Like, viewing all of this weird telephone, like a three-way call kind of a vibe. Sure. Like, you're listening the whole – You're the mole! Oh, my God! I thought I was safe with you. It's so annoying.

19:49This is literally – they're, like, 12-year-old girls. While this bullshit is happening, our Gertie is living it up in Paris with Alice, fully established as the authority on everything avant-garde. Yeah, she fucking, ugh, rules the school. And fighting the war is going on in her own salon. So here's the pre-World War I tea. So before Europe gets all, like, oh, my God, are we going to cause a major problem? So Pablo, of course, Picasso, was pretty big on the dramatics and was super jealous of anyone taking Gertie's attention.

20:23He also hated Matisse, but also, like, copied him, like – He, like, he was just jealous. He was just jealous. It's giving Italy – Damn, Italy catching straight. Listen, listen, Italy, we get it way more than you fucking know right now, baby, bambina. Okay. Yeah, like, Italy, you're fine. We're right there. You're okay. We're right there with you, babe. So Picasso said Matisse painted with the colors of a housemaid's dream.

20:57And Matisse said Pablo's cubism looks like a horde of broken furniture. Okay. So they're, like, giving the same vibes as Europe's dream. Damn. But Gertie, Gertie ate all of the shit up. You look like a horde of furniture. You look like a horde of broken furniture. Like a housemaid's dream. Like, that sounds kind of hot. Yeah. You look like a horde of furniture. I think housemaids definitely – Matisse wins the burns for sure. Yeah. Totally.

21:27Oh, my God. Can you see how flustered Pablo would be? So Gertie ate – But Gertie ate all this shit up. And she loved when the men got all hot and bothered. Because it's silly. It just reinforces that we need a matriarchal society. Yeah. You boys ruined it. You had your chance. No more. We think you're talented, okay? You have some good ideas. Get out of your own way. You did such a good job. Get out of your own way, guys.

21:57Oh, my God. Choose your battles, man. That's a virtue. I want these male podcasters to fucking talk about that. Choose your battles. That's all the male podcasts put together. That's the advice you need, fucking men. Step aside, boys. Pablo. Pablo was pissed about everybody. So Pablo was also pissed off at this guy, Juan Gris. Juan. Another genius Cubist painter that Gertie had a huge boner for.

22:27And Pablo copied him, too. And Juan actually called him out on this one, saying, Pablo was a genius, but he's not generous. Because he just take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take. Yeah, that's all he knows. I love these artists. A lot of artists are just fucked up people. Well, that brings us to this fucking mess. Guilham Apollinaire. Okay. Guilham, he was the guy to really accept and use the term Cubism. Okay.

22:58Because just like Impressionism, Cubism was a term used by critics to insult the movement. Right. And it's like, it's just Cubes.

23:08And Guilham was really the first to use it as a descriptor for the style. So like, fun. That is the only normal thing about him. Everything else was tea. Okay. So, okay. So I kind of like this about him. At first I was sus, but like, I get it now. It could have been predatory, but I think I get the vibe. But he kissed everybody a lot. Okay. And I mean, men, women, friends, enemies. He used kissing and over-the-top affection to diffuse the tension, especially when Pablo was around.

23:45Oh, my God. He's like fawning. Like, he's doing too much. And you're like, ah, get away. Actually, get away from me. And I can't, I just love to imagine Pablo in like full, in his full ego mode. And dude comes in and like kisses him like super hard and gets him all flustered. Like, you can't fight it. You can't fight it, Pablo. He's just poking the bear. So I kind of like that of like, he just, he seemed to cut the tension with like this out of bounds romance that he had for everybody.

24:17Of like, because it did kind of just, oh, okay. It's like that episode of Friends when Chandler is like kisses everybody because. He's in his kissing phase. Well, no, because like they walk in on him and Monica making out. Oh, yeah. And then he's like hard makes out with like Phoebe and Rachel. That's what I do. It's just my thing. I'm very European now. It's just my thing. I kiss, remember? That's so good. So, Gillum, yeah, he has, he has kind of Chandler energy. And not only that, he was, okay, he was wasted most of the time.

24:51But who isn't? He was also arrested.

24:55He was a hasn't Chandler energy. But who isn't? He was also arrested for art theft because like one of his friends stole a couple of small statues from the loo. Oh, my God. And Gertie was even like, I need to like maybe separate myself from you for a minute. Like, wow, Gillum, like you're okay. You are Wylan. No, I'd love that. That reminds me of the time me and Marius stole a painting from Taco Bell. And then the manager came out and chased us down the beach and we had to give it back. The Taco Bell painting.

25:25The things that you do in your 20s. Marius used to steal things. That was like his thing. Is that like a French? I saw him steal like candles of poos before and just put it out in his pants. Yeah. I was like, oh, oh, he's okay. Those are really. Oh, I have seen him just walk out of Walmart.

25:45Allegedly. Allegedly. Who are we talking about? Never mind. Who? You don't know. It's fine. It's not a crime if you give it back, right? So we give it back. We give it back. So Ghilam, Ghilam was chaotic, but I do like it and Gertie liked it too in small doses. So she loved his work and he made the salons really fun, but Alice didn't like him. So he is obviously totally not her vibe, especially when he would show up hella late and drunk.

26:21Like, yeah. And she's like, I don't drink. It's late. Like, I need my full eight hours. And she was like, God, what a mess. She's trying to like fucking, she's trying to just like. Let's try to organize. And you're messing up her whole system by coming in late. And now, now we're off topic. Now you're wasted and you're going to make a seat and be kissing everybody. We have a schedule. We have a schedule. Oh my gosh. She's such a tourist. Oh my gosh. Okay. I have a little more Alice tea because she's my favorite.

26:53Obviously, she's my favorite in this whole thing. So Alice hated Matisse's wife, Amelie. Like, cut the tension with the knife type shit. So, I mean, Amelie knew the Steins like way before Alice. So, she thought Alice was like being gatekeepy. Yeah. So, Amelie was really eleganza and proper and pragmatic and serious and not into like this fluffy avant-garde stuff.

27:26She didn't really vibe with Gertie's experimental writing. She's not like gossiping about Pablo and parting it up with the rest of the Bohemians. Sure. She, like, didn't really trust these guys. She only wanted to go to protect Matisse. Okay. Her man. Yeah. Interesting. And that was the reason she was there. It was just her man. So, she's just like being there as a contrarian. And maybe as a little bit of like, don't be looking at this guy. Like, this is my little genius.

27:58And I know. And I, you better get away. So, she knew all these rivalries and tensions and drama affected her man because Matisse was a little feely. He was a little emotional. And she was his manager. So, she's taking on the whole admin of his career, like, as we do. And I don't know. I thought that Alice would have kind of liked Amelie because she was like a quiet observer. Just like Alice. Because they're in the same role, essentially. Yeah. Right? Totally. Of like, you would think that you guys would be like the grounded ones that could kind of come together.

28:32No. Too similar. I feel like Alice, I feel like they have similar judgy vibes. But I don't think Alice really judged anyone or gave them the vibe that she was better than her guests. I think she was really, like, sincere in listening to all these artists' opinions. And took all these opinions and not just dismissed them. Even if they were out of this world. But Amelie, like, she was just like, ew.

29:01Yeah. I was like, ah. Like, Alice would still have a little joke or two. And Amelie was just judgy. Like, take a fucking shot. Take a fucking shot. Alice is just, like, misunderstood because she's not getting party-hardy wasted. Yeah. Which, like, okay, I'm sorry for all the Alice's in the world. Because when I was getting party-hardy wasted, I didn't want you to bring the vibe down. Yeah. So, like, I get why it was, like, a tough fit. But you need the designated driver. Yeah. We need you guys. You need somebody who's going to, like. Or else we die. You need somebody who's going to wake you up in the morning and go to work.

29:33Like, you know. Get the fuck up. Get your clothes. Who cares? Just leave it. Leave it. Go.

29:41But sometimes she does need to, like, take a fucking shot or something. Yeah. And all this drama is happening right before the great exodus of Paris.

29:52So, the tea was spilled on Germany invading Berlin and coming into France. And at first, the French were, like, okay, we're hella nationalists. Like, we'll protect our country, dude. And then soon after, Germany said that they would bomb the shit out of them. They didn't comply. Never mind. We'll do whatever you want. I don't, we love this city too much for you to bomb the shit out of it. So, we're going to. I mean, yeah. We're going to have to comply the best we can. So, they were in a really weird spot. And once France knew that she was going to be under attack, civilians left almost overnight.

30:28Gertie said Paris was empty. Absolutely, absolutely empty. Almost 700,000 French citizens fled. And the ones who stayed were drafted into fighting or working in factories building weapons, including women. So, yeah. France did have, like, a similar we can do it moment culturally with women working in the factories and helping with the war effort. So, it did kind of, I don't know, we could do all this shit. What the fuck? This is fucking easy. Compared to rearing children, this shit is easy.

31:01What, I got to fucking use a wrench?

31:04And Gertie could. Get the fuck out of here. And Gertie could have left along with the Matisses and the American artists who fled. But, no, she stayed with Alice and Pablo and Juan and even Gilliam stayed. And he even volunteered for the French army. He wasn't even fucking French. He was just going to go make out with everybody. Dude. Can you imagine? In the army. Yeah, of this guy must have been wild in the army. And while in the trenches, he writes an iconic collection of poems called the Caligram.

31:38Or Caligram, I don't know. Caligram. And he does end up suffering, like, from a head injury. Oh, no. From getting hit in the head with shrapnel from a bomb. And it's never really the same. I feel sad. I liked him. This is a war time. No. That's stupid. That's stupid. That didn't need to happen. Ugh, no. But Gertie was, like, she was weirdly happy during this time, dude. So, remember, this is World War I. So, she's not being persecuted for being a queer Jewish woman right now.

32:11She's more into finding her purpose in this. Like, how can I help kind of stuff. Like, I get this vibe of let's go. Sure. Okay. Infrastructure fails. We're in war. Let's go. So, she sees Paris as her hometown and is willing to do what she can to protect it. So, her and Alice joined the American Fund for French Wounded. And the government provided her with this pretty cool new-fangled machine. A Ford Model T truck, baby.

32:44What? That's so sick. Watch out, Germany. Gertie's got wheels, bitch. Let's go. And she fucking loved this thing. So, she learned to drive while Alice learned how to fix it. So, of course, I could see Alice, like, reading the manual and be like, wait a second. Wait, hold on one minute. And, like, Gertie is, like, having fun driving. I could, like, so see that. You guys would be perfect. You're perfect. So, with this truck, they were able to deliver medical supplies to hospitals and aid stations,

33:19transported wounded soldiers between facilities, and helped, like, just anyone needing a ride at this time. This truck became her fucking identity, dude. So, she found a purpose. People relied on her. I mean, anybody with a truck. My husband has a truck. So, it is. People rely on us for a truck. We move stuff around. That's why we have it, I guess. Oh, my God. So, they became known as the two American women with a Ford.

33:54Damn. That's fucking sick. So, not only was she stoked on this thing. God, she's, like, the first fucking trail bro. So, so much so that her writing was affected by this truck. So, she gets more repetitive and technical and, like, rhythmic. And she starts writing a book called The Making of Americans. And this is a very experimental book that follows two families. And instead of a story about them, it really explores the machine of their human characters.

34:28So, it's not, like, really an – it's confusing. It's not really a narrative. It's, like, an observation using rhythmic structure.

34:39So, she writes, I am writing for myself and strangers. This is a history of everyone who ever was or is or will be living. So, of course, she's inspired by a fucking truck engine. She's a nerd. Yeah. Nerd. And then, two years later, the Armstice was signed on November 11th, 1918, which ordered all fighting between Germany and everyone fucking else to end. But it really isn't the end. So, it's after 20 million deaths, 21 million wounded soldiers and civilians, famine, the collapse of infrastructure, and now the pandemic, what the Spanish flu, literally taking out whole-ass cities.

35:27And it also takes out our special Guilam. No! Yeah, who died of the flu two days before the Armstice. Fuck. Shouldn't have been kissing that many people. No. It might not have been a kissing. It was pretty contagious. So, it's probably not been a kissing. So, shit is, after this Armstice where you're like, yay, peace, but in reality, shit is still totally fucked. And Gertie and Alice are still using the truck to help the sick and wounded. And then, about a year later, the Treaty of Versailles was signed, forcing Germany to take the whole-ass blame on this one.

36:02They had to dismantle their military and pay reparations, which did destroy their economy. Germany and fueled extreme nationalism. Uh-oh.

36:15We can learn from this. We can learn from this. The Treaty tried to make sure Germany would never fuck up again. But we will see soon that that's not going to happen. That's a war. They are going to fuck up again. Super hard, but not yet. Because, bitch, the war is over, for so we thought. It is the Roaring Twenties now. So, this is the hurrah. Gertie and Alice are back in Paris, a city that's building itself up again.

36:48Artists returned, and a whole new shipment of American artists come to Paris and come right to her ass. This is the school. Mommy! This is the school. And did, like, so I looked into this, of what was this whole, why? How could we be able to move? I guess Paris was not that expensive to live in. Like, it was an easy move if you were an artist or if you didn't really fit in, of go to Paris. So, it really is like, let's go to New York!

37:19I was like, let's go to Paris! Yes, and that was the same even for the Americans, too. So, she totally found herself. And she even coined herself the queen of the lost generation. And their king, Ernest fucking Hemingway. This pretty ass bit. Oh, my God. But so hot, though. So, a mini ASL.

37:46This is why this shit is three parts, and I'm not even scratching the surface.

37:51So hot. So, Ernest was born to a wealthy family in the burbs of Chicago. He called it, it's funny, he called it a town of wide lawns and narrow mines. Oh, damn!

38:06So, that makes sense. He is a cancer Leo cusp. No. No. That's awful. Yeah. Sorry. Who made that decision? What? There are those out there? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's a lot. That's where we're at. So, he volunteers for World War I at 18. And he actually did want to join the army, but his eyes sucked. So, he was disqualified. Yeah, Ernest Hemingway was not in the technical army. But he did join the American Red Cross and went to Italy to help.

38:42So, here's his big hero moment. While he was giving supplies to the Italian soldiers at the front, the trench was hit by a bomb, and hella shrapnel got up all up in his legs. And then, all fucked up and bloody, he tried to carry a wounded soldier to safety and got shot in the fucking knee. So, in this style of Hemingway, he's brave. So, he ends up getting the Italian Silver Medal of Valor because of this heroic act.

39:15Right. And begins writing seriously as a journalist covering the war. But he did spend months in the hospital to treat his injuries and infections from all of this metal up all in his legs. And ended up carrying metal shards in his legs for the rest of his life. And I guess he was always kind of, like, in pain. So, that's sad. Sucks. Sucks. Doesn't mean you have to cause others a fucking pain all the time. This guy. This motherfucker.

39:45So, he's injured, broke. And, newly married to Hadley Richardson, who encouraged him to write seriously after all this. Like an artist and not just like a journalist. And Hadley funded his entire ass move to Paris on her inherited dime. Yeah, she paid for everything because she believed in him. And, of course, she fucks in Olive Lane. This is dumb. Dumb. You had a cheerly, like, I just, oh.

40:17So, he meets Gertie soon after arriving in Paris. And immediately, they begin their student-teacher relationship. It was automatic. It was automatic vibes. Gertie loved to shape new talent. And Ernest was desperate for guidance. She just, like, has a knack for picking these, like, shitty dudes. Of, oh, this kid is gonna ruin his life. Let me go ahead and bring him in. And Gertie is the one that made him stop using adjectives. Like, so, she is kind of the reason he sounds like that.

40:49Which we will get into later. That he disputes it a lot. Oh, my gosh. She is the reason he's like, he is courageous. He is, like, okay. No fluff. No fluff at all. That's why he sounds like that. And Alice, of course, hated Ernest. Ernest, obviously. He's not very likable. I mean. We can see that coming. So, she sees him charming Gertie's pants off. Yeah. Not literally. But, like, he did that with everyone else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she sees what he's doing.

41:21Alice sees his giant ego. And at this point, she is so used to protecting Gertie from, like, all these males. It's just interesting. Because she, like, isn't bothered by the male ego. Which. She's not bothered by it. I feel like she probably sees through it. She sees through it. But I think, like, Alice is still protective of her. Yeah. And I think, too, she sees what he does to other women, too. Of, like, I'm not going to have that. And that's not going to happen to my woman.

41:52But I do think Gertie is kind of charmed by him. I have a bunch of pics of this gorgeous toxic hoe on Patreon. So, like, get into Patreon. Like, we'll provide. Dude has. He does have swag. Like, he has aura. Yeah. For sure. And Alice hates anyone with this much swag, dude. It's dangerous. So, he's competing with Alice for Gertie's attention. Like, get in line. So, she literally calls him a big overgrown boy. Get him. Get him, Alice.

42:23Yes. So, Alice also hates how he treats his wife. And Gertie hated that, too. Hadley is fucking paying for everything with her money. And he's for the streets. So, here's the tea. This bitch, Pauline Pfeiffer, moves to Paris from the U.S. to work for Vogue. So, she's, like, hot, glamorous, totally different from his stable, conservative, Midwestern wife.

42:54I mean, it's pretty obvious. They're fucking right away. And Hadley desperately hangs on to the marriage and tries to make it work, thinking maybe it's just a fling.

43:06I've invested so much. So, he literally, okay, this fucking bitch. He literally takes them all to Spain on vacation. Like, with other friends, kind of a thing. Like, oh, we're cool. We're all friends. It's a friends trip. No. I am so sorry, Hadley, bitch. This must have been fucking torture. So, Pauline is determined to take this man. And Ernest is soaking it all in.

43:36So gross. Like, we're all friends. It's a friends trip. Like, don't do it. If your relationship is rocky and there's jealousy, give it a second before you go to Spain together. Okay? B-B-P-S-A. We need to learn from this. We're learning from Hadley. Like, if you feel a little bit, if you feel a little bit of, like, they might be fucking, don't go to fucking Spain. No. So, in the end, Hadley did make him choose because she was like, I see you, like, you're with her.

44:11Yeah. And he ended up choosing Pauline. Sure. So, good for Hadley on this one. Hadley divorces him, wins custody of their kid, and she demanded royalties from his book, The Sun Also Rises. Yes. And Ernest, I think, given that he felt, like, a little bit bad for doing this on her dime, agreed to that. She was like, okay. And it actually ends up really good for Hadley. She remarries a nice guy and lives a long, happy life.

44:41And Ernest ends up regretting marrying Pauline and wished he was still with Hadley. Like, oh. Well, of course. Tiny violin. Okay. So, sorry for you. Yeah. Too bad, so sad. Oh. And Ernest was not the only toxic character Gertie had to deal with. So, she's got these people. The Fitzgerald. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, my God.

45:14What an insane chaos. Like, oh. F. Scott Fitzgerald, the guy who wrote Great Gatsby. Yeah. And Zelda Fitzgerald, writer, dancer, painter, and crazy-ass American from Alabama. I love her so much. Dude. Okay. So, these people, listen. They were already famous. Yeah. They would attend Gertie's salons. Well, Scott would, because both Gertie and Alice could not handle Zelda's stuff.

45:45She was too wild. She would not be invited, because she was too jazzy and glamorous and chaotic and unapologetically American. She's giving Leo. I love a wily-ass Leo. I'm like, I need to know this. Unkempt. Fucking go for it. Love it. Get wild. Whatever. We're all feeling it. So, she would dance on tables, flirt with everyone, pick fights, and insult anyone acting too pretentious.

46:17Yes! I'm here for this energy. I'm obsessed with her. I love her so much. So, this bitch was not to be contained. No. And Gertie was actually really ew about this bitch, and she told Scott to get away from her, because it would affect his writing. Mmm. Like, Gertie was just like, no. And I'm like, why don't you feel it? And she didn't like her writing, too. She thought it was, like, a little bit too garish, I think, of whatever. Like, you don't see her. You don't see her. Be untameable.

46:48And the Fitzgeralds, they don't last too long after this. So, Scott spirals into alcoholism. Um, Ernest even had to carry him out of bars. And Scott ends up dying. I was like, really? Okay. With his fucking shrapnel and his weasel problem. And Scott dies from a heart attack in Hollywood. And Zelda. Okay. So, we just fall in love with her. Yeah. And now she's, she's gonna get the fucking worst of it. So, she ends up in and out of mental institutions for manic episodes.

47:23And, okay, I did not know this. While she was at a mental hospital in North Carolina, a fire broke out in the building. And she was waiting for her electroshock therapy session. And she was locked in a room with eight other women while the building burned. And they all died. Fucking wild. So, we will all be reading Save Me the Waltz for this bitch. A book that Gertie didn't like, but we like it. Yes, absolutely. She wasn't ready.

47:54They weren't ready. They weren't ready for her. And yeah, the earth wasn't ready for her. She was way too iconic for that. Yeah. But I had to talk about the Fitzgeralds because you had to get into these people. So, we'll go back to Gertie. Her and Alice's salon shifted after the war. It became less about discovering avant-garde European painters and more about molding new American immigrants. They're not expats. They're immigrants. Yeah. Interesting. I hate that. So, she related to them.

48:24They're disillusioned. They're in their existential crisis moment. We are getting it. We're young and dumb and violent. Young, dumb, and full of cum. Sorry. I gotta move. My back is gonna move. Okay. Okay. I'm here. And Gertie understands all of this. And out of all this disillusionment and all these questions and all this meaningless violence comes, of course, some great-ass art. I mean, if there's going to be a benefit, it has to be that.

48:56Listen, that's always the silver lining as like, oh my god, I'm more than anything so fired up to make shit. Yeah. So, let's fucking put it on canvas, you guys, or put it in a book, put it in writing, do something, write something. The salon is like the finishing school for these American writers. Gertie is literally a voice of a generation. And Alice, she becomes the gatekeeper. Even Hemingway said, to get to Gertrude, you went through Alice.

49:26She holds the authority over who is eligible to even see Gertie. I mean, she has her very best interest at heart. And if that's not a Taurus, I don't know what is literally protecting the piece.