Amrita Sher-Gil: You Can't HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Introduction

0:00Please enjoy this ringback tone while your podcast is reached.

0:11This is Raquel and Chelsea, and you're listening to Baroque Bitches. Welcome to Baroque Bitches, your art history gossip podcast. I'm Chelsea. I'm Raquel. And we're going to get into the down and dirty tea on this highbrow fancy art.

0:47Finally.

0:49We're here. We're getting used to it. We're here to get used to it. So, sorry if you hate our voices. We don't care.

Mother's Day Discussion

1:01We don't care. I know it just was Mother's Day weekend. How was your happy Mother's Day? My home. It was great, but my whole body is like on fire. Great, but stressful. I was like, let's go do all these things forever. No, that's the thing I don't want to do. I don't want to do more things. That's like the catch-22 of Mother's Day is like, but you still have a mom.

1:31So, and you have like grandma too. Yeah. But I did get to see. Wait, there's so many moms. And you want to honor the moms in your life. Like they deserve it too. But I kind of feel like there should be some sort of like get out of jail free card once you have a kid of like, you know, okay, like can we do you on Saturday and me on Sunday? Like I still want my own day. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because like it's a lot, you know?

2:02Yeah. It's a lot. I think it should be, it should cancel out of once you have kids, then I don't know. It all depends. I guess it depends. It depends on the mom. I just like, I wanted to be very clear that like I love all the moms in my life. I'm lucky I've got two moms. I've got my bio mom and my step mom. And then I got my grandma who's still around. So we went to go see grandma. She's going to be 96 this year. Like, whoa. And she has lots of mom. Yeah, grandma. And she has lots.

2:34What's the secret?

2:36So I, my grandma was a piano teacher her entire life. And she, she'd be in that silver sneakers, walking every day, quilting, learning new things, gardening. Yeah. Stay, stay moving. Stay grooving. Yeah. Stay crafting. Stay crafting. Stay being creative. And I think stay connected, like, is a huge one. Stay connected with your friends and with your family.

3:09But yeah. Make friends. Don't forget to make friends. And like, talk to them on the reg. But there's also just a little bit of, like, rolling the dice here, you know? Like, she just got the lucky, the long straw or whatever. Like, she got the lucky, lucky end of the stick. Yeah. Because, I mean, you know, grandma doesn't drink. She's, like, you know, pretty healthy. So I think that upped her odds. But yeah. She's, you know, she's one of, like, 15, you know, siblings. And two of them, a few of them have passed away.

3:41And she keeps going. She's the oldest. So. Wow. So, yeah. Okay. So, hanging in there. And out of spite. Yeah. Like, at some point, it has to be out of spite. First one in, last one out, bitch. What? I love it. Oh, my gosh. So good. Well, happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. Yeah. All the ones. Mommies. All the moms. All the ones without moms. Trying to be moms. All of you guys.

4:12Yes. It's a tough fucking rocky road. Yes. Yes. And mommies and stepmommies, too. Those ones are good, too. Bonus mommies. Grandmommies. Bonus mommies. Great grandmommies. Grandmommies who turn into mommy. I don't know. All of you guys are good. Animal moms, this one. This day's not for you. I'm sorry. Ben, no. Yeah. No, that's okay. That's okay. Every day is a wonderful day. Every day is a wonderful day with fair babies. Yeah. There you go. That's okay.

4:43It's fine.

4:46It's so much easier than a real baby. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, man.

Art and Perception

4:50But, yeah. Good week. You know. Just fucking. We're loping along through the cosmos. And I know that we have a listener, Alejandra, out there asking where the fuck we are. We're here. We're here. We're here. I don't even know what we're doing. What are we even doing? I have no idea. Dude, you don't even fucking. Okay. We might as well get it. Well, we're in the feminine energy right now and Mother's Day weekend. Yeah. So, like, this is totally perfect.

5:23And this bitch has some mommy issues. So, this will be really good. Mom. So, we might as well get into it. Let's visualize. Being perceived is a uniquely feminine experience.

5:55How can you truly understand perception if you have never been perceived? Especially in art. Men desire the feminine without experiencing it. I desire the feminine because I experience it. I live in a cage that is on display. Why wouldn't I turn to the other caged animal for comfort? And then to the other. And then to the other. Soon, I will only have my captive to turn to. But not for comfort.

6:25I have plenty of that. But for revenge. And in art, revenge looks like dark skin, poverty, and loneliness. In a curated world of idealized fantasy, soon you too will see the truth that there is no cage. The man-made rules of perception are based on control. Control your lines. Control your palate. Control your subjects. But I am making new rules. And they're based on freedom. All you have to do to follow these new rules is the opposite of the old ones.

6:59If they want beauty, give them ugliness. If they want decoration, give them emotion. And if they want purity, give them desire. For they wouldn't even know what to do with it.

Amrita Shergiel Introduction

7:13Which brings us to our gossip topic, Amrita Shergiel. You can't handle the truth.

7:34Dude.

7:37This one sounds good. I don't know who this is. So this is perfect. We're going to learn today. You probably won't learn about her in art history class. I know I didn't. And we all could have really used this like fuck y'all energy. Yeah. We all can. So I'm so excited for this one. She's like changed everything I thought about bad bitchery. Like this. The badassery is beyond my comprehension. Amrita is the one.

8:09Yes. Yes. Dude. Amrita. Wild. Okay. Let's get into it. Might as well. Yes. A-S-L. Age. Sex. Location. Yes, please.

Amrita's Background

8:30Amrita Shergiel was born January 30th, 1913 in Budapest. In the then Austro-Hungary, Hungarian Empire. Now it's just Hungary. This makes her an independent, intellectual, and eccentric weirdo aquarium. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. The ones. Na-na-na-na. It's us. This is all very obvious.

9:01Nobody can tell this sign what to do. Oh, you need me to conform to your gender role? Absolutely not. Please provide scientific evidence suggesting how me conforming to your standards benefits anybody. I will wait. It's so true. It's like you have to explain to me the way that makes sense. It needs to be logical. Yeah. And you've got to bring me back down from outer space. Yeah, I'm not following that.

9:31For what? For you? I don't even know you. I don't know you. I don't know you. Did you write these? Yeah. And you'll see Amrita is going to be the new poster child for Aquarians everywhere. Yes, I'm so excited. She does not care that she was born in the early 1900s. That doesn't matter at all to her. This one. This one. I don't know where she gets in. Not only was she born under the rebel sign, she was born in the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

Budapest History

10:04So before we get into the fam, let's get into some of the drama around her hometown, Budapest, in the early 1900s. Like, who are you, Budapest? What are you doing? How do you feel about who you are? How do you feel about who you are? And I've heard- Who are you about how you feel? How do you feel about that, Buda? We want to know. And I've heard really good things about Budapest. I have, too. Dude, they have these ruin bars where they put a bar in, like, an old abandoned building that's falling apart.

10:36Yes. And they decorate it all, like, dystopian Mad Max vibes. Like, these people party. Like, you can tell they are fun. Maybe we should go there to do broke bitches. I don't know. We have any Budapest listeners. Do we have Hungarian listeners? Can you please let us know if you're listening? We'll let us know. Hungry. Yes. However, before the chill vibes of today, this area has had crazy drama for centuries, but we'll stay in my mind. Runt to row.

11:06In the late 1800s, Budapest was actually separate cities. It was Buda and Pest and Abduda. And they were, like, let's be best friends after, like, the Hungarian Revolution against Austria, which eventually led to the establishment of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. And Buda, Pest, and Abuda united and made Budapest after, like, a lot of drama.

11:37Oh, my God, I'm sure, because Abu Dhabi must have been, like, why the fuck's my name not on here? Exactly. I'm, like, maybe they kind of, I mean, maybe it was kind of, like, Buda and Abu Dhabi kind of sounded similar. Okay, so they, like, talked him into it. Yeah, maybe they just kind of were, like, so, your name sounds a lot of, like, his name. It's basically the same name. It's basically the same. Budapest sounds better. We did a focus group. And it sounds better. Yeah. We did a focus group. We did a focus group.

12:08Oh, Budapest. Okay. It's got to be just, like. Actually, that sounds good. That sounds kind of sick, dude. Yeah.

12:17But it was a lot of drama, but it's really chill now. I mean, like. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Totally chill. I'm far right now until, like, there's a lot of problems on the 40s. I'm like, she doesn't really deal with that.

Amrita's Family

12:27Okay. So, back to the fam. Daddy. Let's get into dad. He's very interesting. Okay. Dad was Umrah Singh Sher Gil Majithia. Okay. And he was a Sikh aristocrat intellectual from the Punjab region of India, which is, like, the northwestern part mixed with a little Pakistan. Sure, sure. And Sikh is one of the most popular monotheistic religions.

12:58They're really big on, like, charity and honor and helping others and stuff. So, if you see a guy in a turban, he's probably Sikh, even though there are other religions that wear turbans, too. But for the most part. And the boy, these boys have the long hair slash beard combo. So, like, totally hot. Dad was hot and smart. Dad was an extremely gifted scholar, too. So, he was not only, like, rich. He was a smarty pants fancy man who learned Sanskrit and Persian along with a bunch of other

13:32languages. And Sanskrit is a really complicated Indo-Aryan language. It's that pretty writing you'll see if you're in, like, a Buddhist or Hindu or the best religion, Jain temple. If we all practice Jainism, we wouldn't have any problems. I'm just fucking saying. Oldest religion. I'm so much older than Christianity. Yeah. Even though Dad came from a religion that was monotheistic, he was, like, obsessive about learning different religions, sciences, philosophies, languages, and cultures.

14:06And he was also an amateur photographer. Oh, my God. How many things can he do? He's doing a lot of hobbies. This guy has hobbies. So, join our Patreon if you want to see his photos of the fam on the video version of this episode. So.

14:26Oh, hello there, you beautiful creature. Looks like you can't get enough of the Baroque Bitches Art History Gossip Podcast. Do you want more juicy tea? Join our Patreon for exclusive access to bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes content, exclusive voting power, digital downloads, fun merch, and more. Become one of us. One of us. By going to patreon.com slash baroquebpodcast or clicking the link on our website baroquebpodcast.com

15:01or clicking the link on our Instagram at baroque.b.podcast. Thank you for your support. We couldn't do any of this stuff without you. We love you.

15:18And we like him. He, even though he was, he was kind of from a British colonized India, which we will get into. He did hate. Yeah, the classists and the ickies, yeah. We're going to get another. He did hate colonialism. So he's a total. Oh, okay, yeah. So we like dad. We like dad. He's a Baroque bitch and a half. But mom. Uh-oh. Oh, holy shit. Like mom is cool and horrible at the same time. So. Okay. It's really conflicting. So mom was Marie Antoinette Goetzmann.

15:51Yep. And she was a Hungarian Jewish opera singer. Okay. Who spoke five languages. So like, whoa. Oh my God, I have so many feelings about this. Yeah. She would perform at these super fancy concert halls. And all of that landed her into some like pretty elite social circles. So through that, she met Princess Bamba Singh of Caperthola, who was living in Paris at the time and she needed a multilingual, multilingual companion to accompany, accompany her.

16:28This was a normal thing for aristocratic women to find like fabulous women to travel with. I love that. Who are talented and cultured and could also help translate a little bit. So it was kind of cool to have like a sidekick. Sign me up. I would love that job. All you have to do is be like cool and happening. You have to be cool and happening though. Like you have to be a big deal and you have to be like, have a cool talent or just are fabulous. So she was just like that fabulous that like travel to India with me.

17:01Travel all over the place. Listen, I can hum and whistle at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want me to like be silly? I'll be your jester. I'll be silly for your guests or something. I can travel. I can be silly. I can be silly. Silly goose. That's basically the vibe. So the princess, so she's traveling with the princess. The princess took her to Italy where dad was living at the time. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yes.

17:31So Umra and Marie were both talented, cultured, cool kids. They were totally perfect for each other. They got married pretty fast and popped out Amrita in Hungary, then moved back to dad's family home in India, where she had Amrita's sister, Indira. Okay. And before we get into our girl's childhood, let's talk about India and the 1910s because there's tea. There's literally. What is happening? I need to know.

18:03The British. Oh yeah. The British really like the tea. I love how you turn into Liza Doolittle every time you do a British accent. The British. I like as cockney as you can. Like, I think I do the British. Heavy.

18:24I love it. However, mixed emotions about the British in India right now. Obviously, it's like not going to be good. Not going to be good. Not going to be great. Not great for either party. Not a good look for the British. Not a good look for the British. Not a good benefit. In general. Yeah.

British Colonization of India

18:44So, during the early 20th century, India was still under British control. There were British civil servants everywhere and they were actively exploiting the economy. And they were making their rules based on British colonial policies. And on the outside, it seemed like the Indians and the British were harmonious. But under the surface, they were totally sucking India dry. And you could tell the people of India were starting to get pissed and starting to rebel.

19:15However, Amrita is growing up in an aristocratic family. She is like the embodiment of India and Europe's relationship. She's half Hungarian. But I think she definitely gravitated to her Indian roots while living there. She loved the loud, colorful, sometimes chaotic atmosphere of India. The India she was living in was full of just music, markets, festivals, and also crazy-ass weather.

19:46She'd be monsooning hard. But lots of rain means lots of beautiful green scenery. And she lived in a country that spoke many languages and whose cultural identity was in a state of constant change. Yeah. How can you become an artist in this country, especially with Amrita's background? And as a child, Amrita developed in between two extremes. Her mom's fiery Hungarian attitude and her dad's introverted, philosophical, studious vibes.

20:24Not only that, she was living in Simla, which was the capital of the British colony in India. So she's seeing British leaders and Indian servants. Indian aristocrats still held power culturally, sort of. In the household, it was common to practice European etiquette and cultural standards and all that.

20:54Yeah. We've been like, at this stage, it's like colonized. Yeah. It's colonized. Yeah. And we're all trying. And she's in the middle. Yeah. She's in the middle. And also suffering between the Hungarian-Indian identity and figuring out how to fit into it all. Am I Indian or am I European? And I'm starting to see some hypocrisy here. Yeah. Of like, why is, why are they in control of this land?

21:25I would understand England. Like, question. And of course, she's an Aquarius. So she has all these questions, like, really early on. Extreme sense of, like, justice. I don't like this. I don't like that. This is weird. This is weird. This isn't right. And not only is Amrita trying to understand all the nuanced social hierarchies in India, mom wanted her to experience European culture firsthand. So they would spend long stretches in Budapest, Florence, and Paris.

21:57And yes, it's good to be highly cultured and well-traveled. However, she doesn't really know what home is now. And this will definitely be a theme for her work and for her life. Okay. So she's mostly living in India. Who am I? Who the fuck am I? Girl, I think we all don't know. But yeah, that creates even more confusion. That's going to be a question. So she's living mostly in India during British colonization. She's seeing the decadence of European aristocratic culture, while also seeing the suffering of the Indian people,

22:31on top of traveling to all these other places that share their own social issues. I mean, this is the stuff. These are the ingredients to make a legendary artist. And she's drawing.

Amrita's Artistic Development

22:45As early as five, she's got the thing. She needs to make stuff. And mom noticed her skills and pushed her relentlessly into art. So it's like good and bad. So now we're on the opposite end of the spectrum, where it's like too much support. It's a lot. Too many opinions. It's going to be helicopter mom stuff. Yeah. It's going to be really complicated. So her artsy fartsy parents are totally into this.

23:16And by eight, she's copying European masters. By 11, she's already telling people she's a great artist. She has the confidence. Like, let's go. Listen, it's going to happen. And mom is pushing her and dad is photographing her. So remember, dad is an amateur photographer who actually captured some of the earliest portraits of Indian families. So this is the early 1900s. Photography was not super popular because it was such an expensive and time-consuming hobby.

23:49But dad loved it. He's got the perfect mix of artsy-fartsy brain and technical brain that makes the best photographers. And he's rich. So bring on the expensive hobbies. Whatever. And you can check out our Ansel Adams episode if you want to learn more about the history of photography. We get into it in that one. Now, most people at this time would have never been able to see a photo of themselves. But Emrita has a plethora.

24:20Her identity magnified in a photo. In many photos. Alongside her multicultural family. Dude, she was so hot. She was so hot. We'll get into that shit. Oh my god. She's hot. She knows it. But we're still in the childhood. We're still in childhood. In her early childhood, her parents tried to send her to Catholic school in India. What? That is so confusing. Yes.

24:50What? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

24:55She fucking refused to follow the rules. Hell yeah. Yeah. Perfect Aquarius. She mocked the nuns. She skipped class and would draw during prayer time. Hell yeah. And I think this is when she started being very suspicious of organized religion. Like she clocked the contradictions and hypocrisy right away. I wish adults would be smart enough to notice that stuff.

25:26But I guess fucking not. And she is also coming from a very mixed religious household. So like dad was born Sikh. But stud and and continues to like be in the Sikh family and wear a turban and everything. But studied many different religions and is seemingly inspired by a lot of these different religions. And mom was born Jewish, but then converted to Catholicism. So I blame mom. I blame mom. Totally. So just like her cultural identity, her faith is also fluid.

25:59And at one point she did say that she was an atheist to the nuns. And I love that. I love that for you. So basically she got kicked out for being too willful and a shitty Catholic. So her parents hired governesses to teach her until she was about 16. And she was actually a really good student when she had a one-on-one teacher. Like every kid would be. Yeah. And she didn't she don't want to be in the system, dude. Like she wanted to learn the shit that was important to her and her family. And at 14, she meets a boy.

26:34So while Amrita. That's hella young. Girl. This girl. She'll see. So while Amrita was living with her mom's family in Hungary, she met Victor Egan, a Hungarian med student who was also happened to be her first cousin. Yeah. Cousin love. Cousin love. Oh, and that is why they had to keep their sexual relationship a secret.

27:05However, it didn't last long because she was going to go to art school and he's going to be a doctor in Hungary. Like it's not going to work. However, that is not the last time we see Victor. Oh, okay. Okay. We're going there. But she's like, I don't need love right now. I'm young. I'm going to art school, dude. I'm going to Paris. She's also only 14. Yeah. So. So at 16. She goes to art school.

27:36The most prestigious school in Europe. Ecole des Belles Arts. And of course, Kelly. As the only woman of Indian descent in the program. So she learned the classics, life drawing, anatomy, composition, and European modernism, which led her to the mother of us all. Cezanne. It's always Cezanne.

28:02And she also loved Gauguin. So check out our creepy Gauguin episode, Massive Red Flag. But she loved that he used non-European figures. Like finally, there's a figure that's not a pale, sickly European aristocrat. I mean, to be fair, I feel like even though Gauguin like brought back the paintings and it's like, who are these? I don't think it was like wildly known how disgusting he was. No. No. I don't think she knew exactly how gnarly. Like how would she know?

28:33Yeah. I don't know if she knew exactly how gnarly. We all in modern day revere Gauguin and then find out. Oh, okay. You know. Yeah. We found out like a lot later that he was trash. And even when that information is available to you, you forget. As we found out and I watched a Keanu Reeves interview of him talking about a Gauguin like exhibit. And I was like, if you only knew Keanu, I feel like you wouldn't like him.

29:04We still look at them. We still like them. But she noticed the brown girls. Yeah, sure. But she's going to do it so much better. Finally. Yes. And not only is she studying the great postmodern masters, she's also studying that dick and that puss. Yes. She's not only super smart, talented and unique. She is smoking hot. Yeah. Super hot. And she gave everybody boners and she was very happy about all this attention.

29:37She loved it. So she is diving hard into her sexuality and using it to shape her identity. So she's leaning in. She's leaning into her hoe phase for sure. Hell yeah. And she had relationships with boys, girls, friends that turned into lovers. And everyone was talking about how she's like flirting with everyone. Like this bitch. And without, she did, she did receive a lot of criticism for this attitude.

30:11She had, the boys criticized her bold sensuality and the girls resented her for being so hot. Yeah. Like you do. Like you do. And they undermined her while also copying her and like being super jelly. Like she was a scandal. We are so complicated as humans. We can't just be like, you're hot. You're hot. You're hot. And be not intimidated, supported, et cetera. And I don't need to copy you. Like you just live your, do your journey.

30:42So she was a scandal while being the most talented artist there, like hands down. Sure. But somebody was not happy about this new sexual identity. Yeah. Mom. Mommy. Mom was not happy. She would come to her school and monitor her. Oh my God. She would, yeah. She would criticize everything about Amrita. Her clothes, her weight, her friends, her appearance. She was super critical and would make huge scenes in front of all of Amrita's friends and would ask them personal information about themselves and their relationship.

31:23Like mom, FYI, that's not how you do it. That's not how we do this. What? She's trying everything to like suppress and control her while still like supporting her art. It's so twisted and fucked up. Even though she was freaked out about her, she said, quote, she paints like a master, not a girl. So it's like, mom, you get it. What is wrong with you?

31:53I think there is something. I feel like it's something about like Amrita, like her accomplishments being more of like mom's accomplishments. Not necessarily like. I think there was jealousy. I recognize you as a great artist. It's more like you are an extension of me and your accomplishments are my accomplishments. So I'm going to benefit when you do well, but I'm also going to make sure that you don't fuck up my reputation by being a total slutty slut. And reputation was everything in both Hungary and India.

32:29Like so big. I mean, it's still like early 1900s. So that's like people are still like, oh, you train the family, you know. Everyone is talking. Everyone is talking. And the rumors are spreading and getting around that Amrita is doing this behavior that is a faux pas. Fuck yeah, dude. But I think Amrita used her mom's controlling behavior to fuel her rebellion. She's like, okay, let me do the exact opposite of what you want. So make a scene. It only makes me more mysterious and scandalous that I have this crazy mom, whatever.

33:04At the same time, like as a mom, hearing your child be like reckless and like potentially hurting themselves and having the benefit of like more life experience. I could also empathize with her a little bit. Like she went about it all wrong. Totally. But maybe she's just like freaking the fuck out, you know. And she's freaking out. She has no idea what to do. She has no clue. And she's fucking panicking. Yeah. And so I get it too of like I would be really concerned if I'm hearing all of this talk about you having all these relationships, which is fine.

33:45But I'm like, just don't get pregnant. That's the only thing. I'm like, just don't get pregnant. Oh, my God. And so Amrita did the same thing at art school that she did in Catholic school.

Amrita's Art School Experience

33:57She questioned the professors. She mocked anyone acting too pretentious and experimented with modernism. So she's doing all the things she's not supposed to be doing. She painted young girls when she was only 19. And this was the piece that really launched her into her unique style. This thing is crazy. So the painting shows two young girls, one clothed, one half nude, one of European descent, and one of seemingly Indian descent.

34:29You can see European modernism mixed with her own cultural identity and, of course, her legendary audacity of painting something that was considered taboo in a classical European male-dominated art school in the fucking 30s as a teenager from India. Regardless, the painting got everyone talking, dude. Is it an anatomical study? Is it an exploration of adolescence? Is it some kind of psychological self-portrait? Or is it gay?

35:03Like, it looks kind of gay. What? So people are talking. Rumors are stirring. And this shit is also getting the eyes of everybody of, wait, this is really good, though. But it's fucking scandalous. She also painted professional model along with other nudes. Her models are not idealized for the male gaze body. She's not Venus-looking snatched.

35:33She's raw and intimate, but bold and dramatic. And her class was both stunned and impressed and could not figure out what was so different about these nudes. But we know this is a female body painted with a female gaze, dude. Like, she's not smooth. She's not perfect. Beauty lies within the person, not in her tits. Stupid. She's not a decoration. Just like Amrita is not going to be some decoration for her family to show off.

36:06Right. She's totally rejecting and refusing modesty and refinement in every way, regardless of her mom's unrelenting control issues. Like, she's just saying, okay, mom, I'm going to do whatever you say not to do. And at the same time, Amrita is figuring out her own identity and also painted several award-winning self-portraits. Yeah. She was the best fucking painter in the school. Wow. And she just kept getting awards after awards, regardless of the scandalous subject matter.

36:41She painted herself in the style of male artists painting their muses, which totally flipped it and reversed it. Yeah. Like, she's giving the sexiest thing that you can give, which is confidence. I don't know where the fuck she's getting this to. Like, it has to be witchcraft or something. Or it's like the delusion of, like, this is going to work. This is going to work. Like, like, I mean, I think, like, with Aquarius, like, you can really disregard, like, how it's going to work out, you know?

37:19Like, you just really are like, no, this is what's right to do. Like, you don't really give a shit. You throw it all away. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be fine because this is right. Yeah. Right. Because this is, and there's nothing wrong with me doing this. So I'm going to do it and fuck it. It'll happen. And it's going to be revolutionary and people are going to literally change their ideologies based on my work. A million percent. Yes. I'm going to be part of the solution, not the problem.

37:51Yeah. No, we're figuring this out. We're figuring this out. We're doing it. It's going to happen. It's going to happen. No, the delusion is strong and the confidence is just there. And there's just nothing. What can stop that? And her early self-portrait. The self-portraits are modernist, but still using classical techniques. So they're beautiful and masterful, but totally different than any fucking thing anyone has ever painted. It's, like, wild because, like, the self-portrait from 1930 and 1931 look like they could be from the 70s.

38:22Dude. Just, like, stylistically-wise. Right. And then, like, there's not, yeah, it's wild. It's wild. And they look like raw, self-possessed sensuality. So this isn't, like, a model posing. This is the model right before or right after, like, a roll in the hay. Right. And some are vulnerable and melancholy, but never totally soft. And others, she's kind of scary and demand, like, dom energy.

38:53Like, for sure. Of, like, you're kind of scary hot. And you have sexual desire as a woman? Like, no fucking way. I don't believe it. You guys come? No. No, you can't. It's impossible. And she couldn't be doing all of this alone. She did need some inspiration and another boy. Okay. So while in school, she met Yusuf Ali Khan, a super rich, smart, eleganza Indian intellectual obsessed with culture and status and living a cosmopolitan lifestyle.

39:28It's giving, like, Leo or something. Yeah. Like, okay, Your Highness. And this drove him right to our girl. So there were many aristocratic Indians living in Paris, like, for the plot, I guess. And they're all about socializing in artist circles and gaining all those juicy culture points. Right. And Amrita was, like, stunned by this man's charisma. Like, she was completely digmatized.

39:59Oh, no. And he really enjoyed it, I guess. That is definitely giving Leo energy. Yeah. He was like, okay, yes, praise me. And, yeah, remember, he was obsessed with status and she was a mixed-race modernist artist rebel. She's his manic pixie dream girl. Right. Like, here for a good time. Not a long time. Not going to marry her, though. She's going to drive me to the man I'm going to be for my future wife. Right. At the end of the thing, like, fuck you. And they had a super intense sexual and intellectual tension, but she wanted him way more than he

40:36wanted her, which eventually led to, like, horrific heartbreak for her. Like, this was her big first, like, lie. No. Yes. Her big first one. So she was devastated. We're still going to be friends forever, even though. Like, no. No. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that from friends, like, we're still going to, I'm, it's okay, like, we're not together, but I'll still be in each other's lives.

41:08That literally makes me sick, too. But I'm, like, all of you listening right now, going through that breakup, I can assure you, you will get to a point where you don't need it and you can let it go. But I know you need to hang on to that idea for right now. So, like, we'll just let you. It's okay. It's okay. No, it's okay. It's okay. But I hate something. Oh. Hate something. I feel for her. Totally. Totally. She was devastated when he rejected her, where her more melancholic portraits come from.

41:42So you can see the ones that are longing and overwhelming romantic desire. But none of that stuff stopped her from continuing to explore her sexuality. It's, thank you, next. So she continues exploring her sexuality. So let's try to get over this guy by sleeping with other people. You know the drill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sleep with other people. And then she met a girl. Okay. Yes. A family friend, Marie-Louise Chassani.

42:14And Marie-Louise was, like, a bohemian socialite. She's a little bit older. Okay. And hung in the same circles as Amrita. They shared, they started going to openings together and talking about art all day. And it's implied by letters to her friends that they had an extremely deep and intimate relationship. And Marie-Louise really helped Amrita bounce back from heartbreak. I mean, she was, like, the rebound. And helped her figure out what she really wanted.

42:45And that was to go back to India, where she could be with her subject matter, Indian women. Which is kind of like, sorry, Marie. Like, I'm going back to India. I think it was definitely next. I think, like, she does have all these letters to her friends, like, describing their relationship. And there was something, like, really romantic there. But I think she's, like, I think she's got to be kind of poly or something. Like, I think she needs more than one. Like, she cannot be monogamous, I think.

43:17Like, she's like, okay, like, you're one of many of my lovers. Like, have a good life. Whatever. I feel like all of these people are just, like, little notches in your story. Like. Yeah. And it's, like, it's just the balance of life, right? Like, she goes through this tumultuous thing where she's obsessed with somebody and they reject her. And then she gets to be on the opposite end of that, right? Yeah, she rejects people all the time. I mean, that's just, like, kind of, I don't know.

43:50It is what it is. It's an inquirious brain, but it's, like, that's normal. Like, you go through this imbalance of relationship constantly until you find one that, like, fits. That you're both on the same page with stuff. Yeah, and so, like, not, and not, maybe she is poly. I just, like, but, man, poly people, wow. How difficult is that? To find balance with just one person, let alone two, three, whatever. Wah.

44:21Yeah, I don't think she ever really. Sounds like a lot of feelings. I mean, I don't think she ever really figures it out. But I think, like, if she was, I think if she was around today, I think she would definitely be within some kind of non-traditional, yeah, like a non-traditional coupling of some kind. Yeah. Because she's, like, bored. She's fucking bored. And I think she was getting bored with the drama of Paris, too. Like, she's an inquirer. She needs a deep, intellectual-driven growth.

44:52She needs culture and chaos and a place where she can continue to challenge the status quo. And her mother. It's like Lena Dunham and girls when she's, like, her dad's asking her, do you have plans later? And she's, like, yes. First, I have to go get a smoothie. And then I am busy becoming who I am. Like, who I'm meant to be. It's so funny.

45:17This is it. This is it. I was, like, I need to go back to India. Yes. She needs to. And get that kind of drama. I need new drama. I need a new flavor of drama. She needs to become who she's going to be, right? Totally. Totally. And get to her subject matter, which she wants to do something with this. She really wants to do something with this identity and this thing with desire. And if you're trying to challenge people, you might as well go back to your hometown and fucking challenge that.

45:48Yeah, try and figure it out. Yeah, figure it out. And her mom continues to try to control her. But I think they both know what's – that's not going to happen. I think her mom is really freaked out that now that she's home because everyone in the Indian circles were talking about Amrita's return. So she's thinking, like, once she's home, is she going to cause, like, more drama for her reputation? And Amrita's like, just get your name out of my mouth, out of your mouth, dude. Like, stop talking about me.

46:20Take my family's name out of your mouth. Get my family's name out of your mouth. Get my – yeah, exactly. Mom. Seriously. Stop talking about me so much. Like, what? You guys have a more – why don't you live your life and stop worrying about my shit? The fuck? And when she returns – Oh. Oh. When she returns, she paints – I think this might be her masterpiece. Okay. She paints three girls. It is, like, such an amazing modernist piece and pretty much instant fame in India.

46:57So she became the first woman to win a gold medal from the All India Fine Arts and Craft Society in 1937. Everyone is fucking talking about her of, like, what the fuck is this? And while her mother is continuously criticizing her, she's popping out bangers, dude. Yeah. Modernist paintings of real Indian women. Not westernized, not perfect, but real and raw and beautiful. And if these aren't the fucking best modernist paintings ever made, I don't know.

47:31Say Zonhu, honestly. Like, these are so good. They're so good. They're so good. And they're so modern. Like, they're so perfect for right now. Yeah. However, it was not all praise. She had mad haters in both the Indian and European art circles. The Indians criticizing her for being too Parisian, painting too modernist. They were used to romanticize versions of India and decoration, not real life.

48:01One critic saying, quote, she paints Indian women too dark, too sad, too poor. And another saying, quote, she is too European to paint India. Gross. You don't even know. You don't even know how shitty these people are. Oh, my God. And, of course, the European critics had problems with her, too, saying horrific. She's too Indian to paint European. She's too Indian to be taken seriously as a modernist. Yeah. This is crazy.

48:32This is crazy looking at, seriously looking at these paintings and thinking that is insane to me. And it has to be about her gender and ethnicity. Right. And I can only assume that because there are countless critiques saying that she is immoral, indecent, corrupt, lacking modesty, and too outspoken for a woman. Like, fuck off. Fuck off.

49:00Fuck the right to fuck off. Oh, my God. It's just like, there's so many that are just like, no, no, no, women don't do this. Come on. Haters are going to hate. I mean. And these are so good, too. And all this criticism did piss her off and make her sad. But she mostly hated the immoral accusations. And she knew it was the patriarchy. It's duh.

49:31She's an Aquarius. She knows exactly what's going on. Right. But even if you, like, know this to be true, it's still difficult when people give you one star on Apple Podcasts.

49:48Totally. Ruining your reputation. Ruining your reputation. Our sparkling reputation. Oh, man. But this summer 1936 painting, I mean, it's just a stunner. Like, she really understands all the fundamentals of art and has taken it and created her own language. At a time where, like, this really is revolutionary. So she's just, like, ahead of her time, not fitting in.