You've Got To Be Kidding Me #55 Turning Point December 2006 - The Rematch, PCS Begins, VKM War

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2:31TNA is the best wrestling in the whole world. Warrior. But can you believe it? Kurt Angle's in the U.P.A. zone! Warrior. Think this is funny? No. Why would you do this? Don't do it. Get a life! Get a life! Warrior. We haven't always been America's favorites, but we will always be America's most wanted. Warrior. Death to ECW. Long live TNA. A Warrior. This is BS! This sucks! I've lost my objectivity, and I don't give it, Dad!

3:09Welcome, everybody, to You've Got to Be Kidding Me, episode number 55. We are a TNA history podcast that covers TNA one month at a time. On this episode, we are talking about the month that is December 2006, leading up to Turning Point 2006. I am Garrett Kidney, and I'm joined by Liam Jones. What a December to remember. That was this month! That was in this month! I knew that, and that's why that was a good reference. There is a couple of notes that will mention December to dismember on this episode of the podcast. I'd rather forget it. I don't

3:45think I've ever watched that show in full. I know that Sylvester Turkay is on it. Yeah. As I clarify that. I know there's a really good Hardys-M&M match. I remember that. That's the one good thing on the show. I mean, they had to give it a go, you know? Well, the whole thing is like, we'll talk about it because it's relevant somewhat, but Heyman got dumped after the show. They changed the entire show. They got rid of Heyman's show. They changed the Elimination Chamber so all his fucking hardcore boys like Rob Van Dam and

4:18CM Punk got eliminated and were a bunch of nerds. And then they fired Paul Heyman or sent him home. And he was gone for a few years. The whole deal. Yeah. It's a real big deal. A real... It's not a changing... Because Heyman was only like around on the periphery post-Brock anyway. Like, it's not like Heyman was this big force in WWE post-Lesnar. But yeah, it is an interesting thing. And like, it is... Again, we'll raise the question because the relevance here is, should he go to TNA? And will people want him to go to TNA? They will say that for the next 10 years. Yes. We will get closest in 2010. But yes, it

4:54begins now. The show having such highlights as Balls Mahoney versus Matt Stryker. Four dreamers. Elijah Burke, the Pope, and Sylvester Toquet versus the FBI. Daivari versus Tommy Dreamer. Yep. Kevin Thorne and Ariel versus Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly. Yep. Yep. Do you think if the brand immediately found the identity it did like a year or two later, people would have been super into it? A pseudo NXT? Yeah, the like weird landing ground for

5:28kind of like guys who don't fit elsewhere but are good. Um, yeah, probably. But I mean, like, they never cared. So that was really the only thing that was stopping it. Yeah. And that is the only thing that made it good in the end because like this is the version that they quote unquote cared about, you know? It's so funny that the three people they eliminated, uh, like, they were at a punk immediately and then like Van Damme doesn't even make it to the end. Nope. So it's like your final three of Test, Big Show, and Bobby Lashley. Big Show who we'll also talk about because he's also on the way out the door. Hmm. Coming to TNA soon. Yeah, maybe he'll

6:02get rid of that slave name as he said. Did he say that? Yeah, he's like, someone called him Big Show in that hiatus after he left before he returned for the Mayweather match and he's like, don't call me by my slave name. That's crazy. Take me back to any internet forum in like the early 2010s when everyone would say the same shit about WWE names. Yeah. But before we get too much into wrestling, how are you doing? Okay. Just chilling, surviving, moving forward. That's all we can do. Yeah. We have, I've completed Naruto. Well, kinda. Yeah.

6:37A version of. We have watched the manga adaptation of the anime, I guess is how you would put it. We've watched the manga canon version of the anime. So I know everything that happens in Naruto up until the end of Shippuden. There's this thing called Boruto I keep hearing about, but you know what? It's fake. I've never heard of it. You've convinced me it's fan fiction, so I will believe it. It is. Which, you know, probably gives the impression that I dislike it when I really enjoyed it, but yeah. Yes, it is a six-year journey. I was looking back to see

7:10when I first tweeted about Naruto. It was July 2019. Pre-COVID. Pre-COVID. That's wild. That's really crazy. It took us fucking six years to get through about 500 episodes, but we didn't probably watch 500 episodes. We watched 479. Is that the number? Yeah. All right. That's not bad. Yeah. And not including, like, we watched other stuff as well. So, you know, bounced around. Yeah. My hot take is it's a good show. Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. I'm the guy

7:44who comes in and says Naruto is good. Yeah. What about One Piece? It's fucking ugly as shit. Whoa. I'm sorry if you're, like, a super One Piece lover and a defender and diehard, but I think those are some of the ugliest character designs I've ever seen in my life. I'm sorry. I hate how it looks. I detest how it looks. I can't get past how it looks. Anime Twitter coming for Garrett. Come for me. I will defend them with my, Kiba's my favorite Naruto character take.

8:16That's how I'll deflect them. I'm sure that'll go over well. They'll be like, you know what? We thought he was crazy about this, this One Piece take, but we heard that Kiba's his favorite Naruto character. So, you know what? He's sane. He's logical. He's reasonable. He's dead right. Yeah. That's, I think, yeah, I think that'll be the thing that placates them. Hmm. Famously reasonable, understandable people, Joshi fans. Mm-hmm. I will never say a bad word. I don't know what you're fucking talking about. You're crazy.

8:50Um, that was the biggest Freudian slip I've ever had by saying Joshi fans instead of anime fans. I don't know where that came from. Oh, my God. Yeah, they're both the sadist group of people. I have no idea where that came from at all. Fundamentally capable of being normal. Yep. I've always said this. Mm-hmm. Um, and I do not co-sign anything said here. Um, yeah, I enjoyed Naruto. I think it's a really good show. I think it's a show worth watching.

9:23It is the first anime I have quote-unquote watched, quote-unquote, start to finish, inverted commas, quote-unquote, more or less. Yeah. Um, and it's, I think it's a good place to start because it's a good show based on my infinite knowledge of anime. Yeah, it'll be interesting to see how other things stack up. Mm-hmm. Or if, like, you'll, will develop nostalgia as it was the first one. Yeah. You know, because everyone, everyone likes the first anime they saw, you know, because it's a new medium. And I do, I technically tell, like, I've watched Pokemon and Digimon, but, like, they barely even count.

10:00Digimon more so, but they barely count. Yeah. If you were too mainstream in the 90s on actual television, you're not a real anime, really. Yeah. Get fucked a Dragon Ball. I was gonna say, except for maybe, like, the one. Mm-hmm. Um, but yeah, I enjoyed my dive to an hour. We will have some, some sweeping up to do, so I will fully understand. And then, uh, obviously consuming whatever fuck Boruto is. Who knows? It could literally be anything. It could be. That's the thing. You were telling me last night it was, like, maybe about aliens and technology. So, I've been watching a lot of The X-Files, so I'm prepared for that.

10:32Yeah. I'm gonna, I'm gonna put on the first episode of One Piece. Mm-hmm. And be like, this is what it is. I wouldn't know the difference. I wouldn't know the difference. I would recognize the art. Damn. Um, The X-Files is a very funny show where, like, the first, two or three seasons, they like to, like, dance with the idea that, like, oh, there's a line between science and technology and magic, and, uh, everything kind of, sort of, has a rational explanation until increasingly it doesn't. And they go, nah, it's all bullshit, crazy shit. Don't fucking worry about it. And then they're just, like, there's genies.

11:05This genie's 500 years old. She gives wishes, but she gives wishes that are bad. Hmm. And it's not technology, I swear. No, and there's no technological thing behind it. There's no, like, oh, she got chemicals in a lab kind of bullshit. There's nothing to underscore it. It is literally just, genies are real in the world of The X-Files. I like, I hope that means, like, you know, there's some, like, earlier things where they're, like, they definitely weren't real. And it's, like, it's, like, oh, genies are real, but ghosts, no. Hmm. Because, like, it was, it was the whole premise of the show, right?

11:37You have the, the, the true believer and the skeptic, and the true believer is always, like, oh, it's aliens, oh, it's magic, oh, it's blah, blah, blah. And the skeptic is, like, they're in Boulder. That's insane, woman. You're, you're crazy. No, the woman is the, that's the, you're a crazy person. I took a 50-50 shot. But she is the skeptic. And, yeah, then it's very funny when you get to, like, season six, where she is still, like, listen, Mulder, there's got to be an explanation for this. It's, like, after all you have seen at this point, Scully, come on, come on.

12:07I hope then she goes, yeah, all right, fair. Every so often that literally it is just, like, really? Really? Like, come on, it has to be a goblin. Like, it can't be anything else. Yep. Like, there is an episode where she gets very excited because the genie, it's the same episode, the genie, one of the guys wishes to become invisible, but he immediately walks out in front to get his by a truck because the truck can't see him because he is invisible. That's his fucking fault. He did not think it through.

12:38A very good point. Like, don't go in the middle of a road. Like, I don't have to be invisible to be hit by a truck. Yeah. That's not on the truck. Scully finds the body and is like, What's a terrible wish? It, listen, they didn't think it through because the first thing he wished for was a boat and she dropped the boat in the middle of their, like, trailer park and he's like, what do I do with this? It's like, you didn't ask me to put the boat in water. You just asked for the boat. And if he had said, put the boat in water, I would have put it in the fucking Pacific Ocean somewhere. And, like, there's a whole thing where, like, his brother is in a wheelchair

13:09and the genie is constantly, like, so there's not, like, an obvious thing you want to wish for? Like, pointing at the brother and the brother's like, hmm, good point. I should get a gold-plated wheelchair. To be fair, though, would she have just done it for him? Would she have just been like, yeah? Or would it be like, alright, I wish that my brother was out of the wheelchair and then she just flings him across the world? You see, like, the whole point of the episode is everyone always wishes for greedy things. So that's the reason she's, like, all cynical because man is like, oh, you always want power

13:40and you always want to be beautiful and you always want money, you greedy pieces of shit. So then Mulder eventually gets her, she comes from, you unroll her from a carpet and then you get three wishes, naturally. And Mulder's like, ah, I will be the man who is fair and decent. I will ask you for peace on Earth. So then she removes everybody on Earth other than Mulder. She's like, yawn, heard that one before, too. Yeah, it's like, you got it, peace on Earth, no war anymore, it's just you. Yeah.

14:11And then classically he did eventually wish for her freedom. What a coward. Ah, so it's her greed. Yeah, ooh, I can't live my life, I'm always subject to all your bullshit. Because she was actually, she only became a genie because she found another genie and she also asked for long life and power and that genie was like, ah, I get fucked, I can give you long life and power by making you a genie, too. I wouldn't mind being a genie. This is one episode, by the way. I wouldn't mind being a genie, either. It's not my go-to. I want to be a werewolf. I want to be a creature of the night. Yeah. No, wait, fuck, I meant vampire.

14:42My mind was in two places. I was thinking of the werewolf movie. Yeah. I think I would choose werewolf over vampire myself, though. No. Terrible choice. Why? You're not in control. But, like, vampire, you have a whole set of rules, too. Yeah, but, like, you can get around it. You can't even walk into a place without being invited. Yeah, and then I will simply invent... I'll wear a sign on my chest that says, come on in, and when they read it, they'll read it out loud, and then I'll walk in. So you'll, like, literally, you'll walk to the front of the door, and you'll point to the sign, and just stand there until they read it.

15:15Yep. That would probably work a surprising amount of time. I also think it's pretty easy to manipulate someone into letting you in their house. So, like, you can learn, like, oh, my God, my kid got hit by a car. My phone is dead. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or, you know, adversely, I can just kill people on the street. Why do I have to be in the house? You can also lure them to you. Yeah. I will... Under the guise of real estate, they will travel to my castle far away.

15:46Also, you could become a real estate mogul, which feels like an unmind source of vampire lore. You gotta keep it low-key. But, like, if you become the world's largest real estate mogul, you will own everybody's house. I don't think, like, money's important to a vampire at a certain point. But I don't mean it for money. I just mean you'll own their house, so you don't have to be invited in. It's like a workaround. Or I own a construction company. Yeah. That builds all the houses.

16:18Mm-hmm. And I can say, technically, whatever Dark Lord bestowed this upon me, technically, I should be allowed to go in whenever I want. Yeah. I wonder how that works. That, like, say you build the house, and before you sell it, you're like, it's mine, so I can go in and out. When you then sell it, I wonder, does that reset the invite? Or is it set to the building, or is it set to the occupants? Hmm. Well, then it wouldn't be set to the occupants, unless, because, like, then if they went to a new house, I wouldn't be allowed to get into that house, surely. Yeah, so it is probably set to the building, right? So if you give yourself permission before you sell it, it's genius.

16:52How has there never been a vampire real estate mogul? Hmm. Hmm. Well, the first one was kind of that. Uh, yeah, he did have a castle. Nosferatu was kind of about real estate. And then he did move to England, which was his mistake. Hmm, but he brought the plague. Mm-hmm. And I would bring the plague. I've read Dracula. That's one of, like, the few, like, classic literature things, is like, I've read Dracula. I'm bringing the plague wherever I go. Really? Yeah. You are sick right now, so listen. And I brought the plague. You are prepared.

17:22Mm-hmm. Um, all right, let's talk about TNA. Okay. Another plague. Depending on the era. All of them. Before we jump in, you can head over to patreon.com.skiddingme or tnachat.com, where you can check out. Hey, Garrett, you know what carries the plague? What carries the plague? Crows. Yeah? We have a shirt with a crow on it. Whoa! And you know how you can not get the plague by buying the shirt because it'll scare the crows away because they'll think you're a crow? Yep.

17:52Yeah. You can head to the link in our description where you can buy the Scorpion vs. Crow t-shirt. You can buy, we have a new poster for the PCS. Uh, yes. Wait, are we saving that? That'll be next month. Let's not move on to the TV after this. Ah, next month. Something's coming. You'll never know what it is. Fuck you. But because the PCS has started this month, we'll have a PCS poster and I think we'll probably do a PCS t-shirt as well with the same design. It's a really cool design. So I think it's worth, we'll probably do like the PCS t-shirt and like the PCS orange as best that we can. The PCS could mean anything.

18:24The paparazzi championship series. What else could it mean? Yeah, but for legal purposes, it could mean anything. That's true. Yes, so you can go check out that in the link in our description. If you are a patron at patreon.com slash gettingmeyourteenagehat.com, you can save 10% with the code that's in our pinned post as well. So go check that out there. You can save 10% on the shirts or posters. We have a bunch of the posters. Our posters are really cool. I think you should go buy them. It's approaching Christmas. If you want to like a last minute Christmas present for the, you've got to be kidding me fan in your life.

18:56That's the perfect place to go. You can go to patreon.com slash gettingmesave10% as well. And while you're there, you can listen to Gift of the Pods. Whereas we're really coming up toward the end of... Wow, we're so woke. We're coming up toward the end of Lucha Underground Season 1. So we'll be talking about Ultima Lucha soon enough.

19:24Yes, that's the most important part of Christmas. Please go purchase our stuff so I can afford clothes. Mmm. Yes, so Gift of the Pods, Rain Takers, all of our other shows about Ringcat King, about Wrestling Society X, about the Monday Night Wars, about Randy Savage's album. Also, after next month's episode, we'll be doing the draft and the end of year awards for 2006. So that's coming up too. So you can check all that out at patreon.com slash gettingme or tnachad.com. And also link in our description, wherever you are, to find the link to merch.

19:58Yippee! That brings us to the month that is December 2006 in TNA. Oh, December? It's beginning to fail. They do open the pay-per-view this month with like a Carol of the Bells version of video package. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. You were bemused because there's a bunch of like things on the screen and like, you know, Christmassy phrases and they don't rhyme. It's meant to be like a Carol, but it doesn't rhyme. Well, they rhyme a little bit and they give up. Yeah, they did. Toward the end, they're just like, oh, fuck it.

20:28But maybe it's, maybe that's true poetry. Mmm. Maybe you don't need to rhyme. Maybe rhyming is conforming. It is. Rhyming poetry is honestly like a shortcut to good poetry. Mmm. You need to be able to make it resonate without the ease of a limerick. Legitimately. Like, like if you're like, oh, the cat in the hat went, did this and that. It's like, oh, all right. You have a nice little, it's, it sounds nice to your ear, but what does it mean? What does it make you feel? Whereas if you're like the flowers in my soul are withering due to the, the, the oppressed of thumb of capitalism, you're like, damn.

21:03Damn. That brings us to the news. Speaking of impression. Reaction coming out of the Genesis pay-per-view and TV taping the following night from The Office and the wrestlers is not positive regarding the booking committee's handle, handling of match finishes, promos, and logic on the show. Well, you know, there was some problems. Believe it or not, they did not like Abyss and Sting. I'm shocked, personally. The general feeling is that the bookers aren't paying attention to details of logic and consistency in the application of rules.

21:35Ooh. During Jeff Jarrett's media conference earlier this month, he talked about focusing on the positives of Russo's booking, but the same mistakes that were made when Russo was in power in WCW have come to the forefront the last few weeks on TV, including the pay-per-view. One TNA talent who was among the most easygoing in the locker room was said to be openly questioning among friends the finish of Sting Abyss, arguing that it made no sense to fans why shoving the ref prompted a DQ but not all the other rule infractions throughout the match. They didn't listen to our show. Yeah. I justified it and explained it.

22:09So, you know, go forward in time. 19 years. And you'll finally understand. Exactly. Lance Hoyt. AJ Styles. It seemed like they were making up the rules as they go, he said. Says another talent. Everyone was rolling their eyes about Sting and Abyss afterwards. Regarding Angle ending Joe's winning streak, one long-time TNA wrestler tells PW Torch, I'm not sure if that was best. I personally think they should give the rub to someone else. Angle didn't need it. The attitude in the X Division isn't any better or worse since Russo arrived.

22:39They talk amongst themselves as if they're in the same boat as they were before, for better or worse. There's no sign of changing priority level. Well, they've accepted their place and I appreciate that. And given Russo's historical booking of, like, cruiserweights, I think coming out level is a plus. Yeah. Him just being like, whatever. It's, like, better than actively burying. Yeah, you get the same 12-minute pay-per-view match and two segments on TV to build it? Sure. Yeah. Regarding one source saying that Jarrett has seemed too busy or above mid-card wrestlers,

23:12one mid-card wrestler defends Jarrett, telling PW Torch, I have nothing bad to say about him. He's always shown an interest in my personal life and never seemed too busy to be cordial. He's been great. Okay. Jarrett has remained in charge backstage just as he was when he was an on-air presence. Between Jarrett, Russo, and Dutch Mantel, an outside observer stopping by the locker room, wouldn't think one had more power than the other based on how they conduct themselves or react or how others react to them. Apparently, Vince Russo writes, on average, twice as much for a one-hour show as the old booking team did.

23:43And boy, can you see it. And keep in mind, they were crabbing too much in. There's, I think the first show of the month, there's a Naturals against AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels match. So there's, like, the perfect encapsulation of what this show is now. Yeah. Where it's like, the Naturals don't get an entrance. They're already in the ring. Styles and Daniels make their entrance. I think they go to break. Between the break and the start of the match, they show Kurt Angle arriving to the building. They show a serotonin promo. Then they go to the match, which is three minutes long. Who gives a fuck? There's a bunch of extra-driven people standing around for no reason.

24:13Rhino comes out to further that story. And the match is sponsored by Sonic 06. Like, all of that happens in, like, four minutes. Real time. It's a regular modern-day Raw. It's crazy. Actually, yeah, you're right that, like, the whole, like, show stuff before they come back from break thing that WWE did that was, like, really infuriating and really bad pacing. In between entrances. Yeah, where someone would come out and the match wouldn't start for, like, 12 minutes. Yeah, I mean, that's exactly what this is. Yeah, it's just faster paced. So it's better, even though. Probably is better.

24:43Well, because you get to it quicker, at least. So because they tape so much, they have to edit a ton of original stuff out before filming. Then after filming, they wind up editing even more out because they still can't fit it in an hour. The latter has been happening for some time. That's why there's the feeling that basically everything is rushed and no angles have time to breathe, basically, because that's how it is. Yeah. And you might think, next year, they get the two hours. They work all those pacing issues out. Yeah, of course. That's all the time now. They just simply add more content. Yeah. That's because Russo starts writing four hours.

25:15Yeah. And then he has to cram the four down to two and then the two down to 90. It is a little better in the two hour era. It's not quite as frantic as these shows are. Like, these shows are crazy. Yeah. Like, these shows have, like, 25, 30 segments crammed into a one hour television show. It's like, I don't even really mind it, to be honest. It's, listen, it is the hot controversial take. It is better. Yeah, I mean, like, it's, we've had so much, like, slow plotting TV in this company's history

25:45that, like, something going a million miles an hour isn't a killer for me. Mm, too much happening is better than too little, objectively. Yeah, especially when you, like, have to be entertained by it. Mm. It doesn't mean it's always going to be good. It just means it's better than the alternative. It at least keeps new things flashing in front of your eyes every 90 seconds. Yeah. The Wrestling Observer has a slightly different stance from the X-Division guys. From multiple reports, the consensus, particularly among those in the X-Division, is very negative regarding the current direction of Vince Russo. Well, I thought they didn't care one way or the other.

26:17Dave is still getting in mixed people who like him, and the people who have no confidence in them haven't changed their minds either. So, really, like, everyone who hated him hates him. Everyone who liked him likes him, and it's the same that it's always been. Yeah, he's got his boys, he's got his guys, and then there's, like, also a group of people that have never worked with him and who are like, okay. Mm. The reaction to Angle has also changed greatly over the past week-plus. It's starting to be the same reaction as in WWE. Angle is taking a super hands-on approach, talking to everyone about their matches, promos, and rubbing people the wrong way when he tells wrestlers that he's the greatest wrestler

26:48of all time. That fucking rules. Eat shit. I imagine, like, Kurt walking up to Sanjay. It's like, Sanjay, I watched your match. And, you know, as the greatest wrestler ever, maybe you shouldn't do that moonsault in that place. Maybe you should move around. I'm the greatest wrestler ever. Have I told you that? That rules. Dave says it's one thing for others to say he's one of the greatest, but you sure don't tell other wrestlers that when you are critiquing them. He's also telling them that he's going to be running the company. Right now, for public consumption, Jared is 100% sticking by Angle. That's awesome.

27:20And just so you know, I'm going to be in charge soon. Yeah. When I tell you you should do that differently, please keep in your mind that, like, I'm probably going to be your boss in, like, two months. So, you know, you probably won't listen to me eat the greatest wrestler of all time, Kurt Angle. That's really funny. I kind of love it. I kind of love it. It's really silly.

27:39Dixie Carter was at the Genesis pay-per-view, but not the TV taping on Monday. She continues to cut back on the number of TV tapings she attends now that she has two young children at home to care for. Grow up. Yeah. Work harder, Dixie. Yeah. I don't give a shit about your stupid children. I take it back. I take it back. It's a joke. Dixie, one day I want you on the show. Liam sexist hates Dixie Carter. No, I don't. I've been probably been more staunchly pro-Dixie than most. You certainly like her more than Velvet Sky does. Yeah, but that's not very difficult.

28:10Several talents have been a little turned off by the increase in scripted lines they've been asked to read as part of Russo's attempt to guide their promos, but Russo has been flexible at allowing changes as long as the gist of his intended message gets across. Sounds like the correct way to do that. I don't know what you want from me. Pretty fair. One neutral observer says Angle's language often sounds mumbled because he almost always has a mouthful of chewing tobacco, a habit dating back throughout his WWE career, if not before. Why is that news? I don't know. But if you hear Kurt Angle not speak clearly, it's the chewing tobacco.

28:43Okay. What? What the fuck is the point of even saying such things? This is what I love. Like, there's a bunch of stuff from this month that is just like, no one would report this anymore. It's just the kind of bullshit that no one says anymore. Dave doesn't critique anything anymore because he knows people will get mad at him on Twitter. So he, like, he, like, they made Leticia Klein look more attractive. So I liked her more. He says basically at one point this month. Yeah.

29:11Numerous TNA wrestlers say that there is an actual TNA talent drug policy. It is about four pages of small print that is part of the talent contracts they signed. It does explain what is not allowed, but to a person not one has said they've ever been tested or heard of anyone tested other than Kurt Angle during recent interviews. They say that that doesn't mean there haven't been tests, but they all believe that if they would have heard about them through the grapevine, if there were, there doesn't seem to be any concern in the locker room about the policy or lack of obvious enforcement. It's seen as a situation where a wrestler who is showing signs of a problem will be dealt

29:42with, but no one is protesting in any way. The lack of random tests. Yeah. I'm sure the wrestlers aren't exactly throwing arms over that. Wrestlers famously great at self-policing that stuff too. But it's like, yeah, for the like, you know, 60% of the people in this roster that that doesn't even apply to it. They're like, yeah, I don't have to go and piss into a cup randomly. Mm-hmm. I don't give a shit. I included this one just to make you mad. Oh, great. It's ratings. It's mostly, I don't care about the numbers. It is the phrasing of it.

30:13Yeah. Okay. Hit me. TNA Impact has drawn disappointing ratings so far in the Thursday primetime slot. It could be spawned as the low end of acceptable, and that's probably fair, but it's still disappointing. Okay, so none of what you said, mate, was anything then. Fuck you. It's so stupid. Like, what do you mean? It's so stupid, bro. It could be spawned as like, pretty good, but like, you know, I'm not going to accept that because I have a preconceived notion of what the ratings should be. I like the way it's, it's not even like it could be spawned as pretty good and those

30:45people would be like, coping. It's like, it could be spawned as pretty good, and that's actually acceptable and correct. And they're probably right when they say that, yeah. However, I have decided it's bad. It's so fucking stupid. Followed by a note from the Wrestling Observer, Spike and TNA are closer now than ever before. After this primetime special. What are you, we're going to... Oh, God, man. What are we doing? We've been doing this forever.

31:15We can't escape. We can never escape it. From a Spike standpoint, the 1.0 is proof that TNA and primetime can be competitive in bringing a new audience to the station. Since they charted these things, they knew a lot of the 11pm ratings when they were good and where were the UFC fans sticking around and they were wondering how the show would do without UFC, because its lead-in is currently CSI, which apparently draws mostly older white women. And even without the UFC, it's done fine and everyone's happy. And still, still, everyone's like, wow. Well, it's pretty fucking disappointing if you ask me.

31:46Yes, I have decided. It's disappointing.

31:51B.G. James was the December guest for TNA's monthly conference call with the media on Tuesday afternoon. We'll have too much BKM this month. The main topics surrounding the VKM program were discussed. B.G. said at least three letters have been sent from WB Legal to TNA that he is aware of. He quickly said, don't quote me on that and revised it down to at least one. He said that's why they can't use Triple H or Shawn Michaels, but they can use Vince McMahon because that is his legal name. Okay. So that's why we say Hickenbottom and Love Hick.

32:23Hickenbottom. B.G. suggested that a dream match of DX versus VKM would probably never happen, but he would love to show up on Raw with Kip and have the match. Why wouldn't you want to have it happen on TNA Impact? It's a fair question. We might do a 1.2 rating and PW TORCH might finally be fucking happy. It just also, it's like, okay, so you're just really spelling it out what you actually want from all this. He just wants to be back on Raw. Yeah. BG said that he doesn't have the WWE schedule and he's good friends with Jeff Jarrett, so

32:56there are two reasons why he would turn down a deal if offered one, sure. BG also joked that he's completely out of shape, which is why he wanted to do the angle with Kip so they could stay far away from the ring as possible and have fun doing a wrestling angle, which is a great thing to say when you're on a media conference call promoting TNA wrestling. I'm dog shit and I shouldn't be in a ring. We are politicking to avoid wrestling for the betterment of us and everybody else. Thank you for our contracts. Oh God. He's the worst of all time. He said their invasion of WWE could be viewed as a rehash and it's not as good as the original

33:30invasion of the DX invasion at the CNN Center. WCW is ready for Nitro. Yeah. And also, it's like I'm shit and I'm like fat as fuck and like I shouldn't be in a ring because it's like going to be terrible for everyone involved. And the angle I'm doing isn't as good as the one that I did before and also it's not even that good. So, all in all, yeah, I think I'm doing really well and worth my money so far. If nothing else, it has people talking. She said it's great for the company, apparently. TNA's Voodoo Ken Mafia, Vince Russo, and Jeremy Rohr showed up at a WWE house show in

34:00Knoxville and interviewed fans on camera for Impact, which I don't think they used. They did use on-camera interviews, but I thought they were backstage at the Impact zone. Maybe they were like re-tapes of the same thing. Or WWE was like, please do not air that. It was filmed at our event. And we can get you for that one. TNA's website has a story that BG and Kip purchased tickets to the show and brought their cease and desist papers into the arena for Triple H to sign on behalf of DX. See, that's a good bit. Film that bit. Yeah, there's like a tinge of like two good ideas inside the sea of otter unbearable

34:33slop and they never rise to the surface because it's an otter unbearable slop. During the main event, Triple H waved at BG and Kip, but didn't sign the papers. BG encouraged DX to come to Orlando, Florida for a live event where Triple H could sign the papers. It said, BG said on TNA's website, how do you feel about doing a BG? Um, ooh. I'm BG James and I'm a stupid fucking idiot. Unfortunately, our attempts to serve Levesque were unsuccessful. We also noticed many of our fans' attempts to stay awake during the main event were also unsuccessful. The good news is that the fat... Wait. The good news is that the fat, oily guy was nowhere to be seen.

35:06At least the great fans in the city of Knoxville, Tennessee were spared that suffering tonight. Damn, he sounds so eloquent. It's pretty good, right? It's a good BG? Mmm. I particularly like the start of it. Yeah, yeah. That's, um, that's the thing that, like, you know how you gotta have a phrase to get into an accent? Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, that's the one I use for BG. It gets you right in his mindset. Mm-hmm. The Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe match at Genesis was booked to go 25 minutes and Kurt had dispensation to go 30 if he thought it would make it better. A lot of people who were aware of this were shocked when he went home early and, to the best of the knowledge of the Wrestling Observer, nobody had an explanation for it other than

35:38it was Angle's call, and that's when he called for the finish. I mean, okay. Again, not a big deal. Guy was like, yeah, we can go 30. Fuck it. No, we can't. Yeah, he's like, wait a minute. Let's go 12. And the match is still awesome. Yeah. Believe it or not, going longer does not necessarily make a match better. Cut that to every wrestling company of all time. I know. Literally chop 10 minutes off every match you ever do, you fucking fools. Angle wanted to do 10 straight Germans, and then the whole thing is like, Joe is big. That'll be impressive. But then he did three, and he was like, oh. He's like, oh, Joe's big.

36:09Everyone on the show was told to stay within parameters and not go over because they wanted 30 minutes left for Angle Joe because they were well aware everyone was buying for that match, and the idea was the produced match of the year, which is, if you think back to that show, there was that really weird stretch toward the end of the show where they are very clearly stalling for time. Yeah. Because they went short. Yeah. I don't think it mattered. No, I don't think it made the match worse, and I don't think going longer would have made the match necessarily better. Yeah. I don't think, like, you couldn't really tell from the match either that, like, stuff was cut.

36:41Yeah. Like, it didn't feel like they worked, like, the start of a match and went to a finish. It still felt like a coherent professional wrestling contest. Yeah. Though there is, like, now a weird through line of Samoa Joe dream matches going short between the Liger match, which went much shorter, and, like, what did feel diminished because of how short it went, and now this one. That one's still all weird, up in the air case, huh? This week's Kurt Angle appearance on the Bubba the Lovespun show once again didn't focus on his pay-per-view match two days later, but on him claiming he would not just be doing

37:11an MMA match, but four MMA matches. Kurt just seems to be fucking doing his own fucking thing at the moment. This gets better. He claimed that the first would take place on a TNA pay-per-view in May or June, and that he had been training that style, but wanted six months of good training before doing such a match. He said the first opponent would be Tito Ortiz, Chuck Liddell, Randy Couture, Ken Shamrock, or Daniel Pewter, and then cut most of his promo on Pewter. He's like, yeah, all these people that it could be, but then the guy most likely. Yes. He claimed it would do one million buys if it was in UFC and promoted off UFC television.

37:44It may very well, but it's not doing 100,000 in TNA, Dave says. He also claimed the match would have headbutts legal. Fuck yeah!

37:55He's doing headbutt MMA! He doesn't even want, like, pride rules. He just wants fucking headbutts. He wants to throw heads at people's skulls. That rules. Maybe he should be in charge of TNA. I love, like, Dave gives this, like, earnest analysis. It's like, no commission in the country would actually, like, sanction a headbutts legal fight. It's like, Dave, he's Kurt Angle. Just run with it. He's just being Kurt. He also says he's gonna fucking run TNA. He's gonna be throwing headbutts while running TNA and fighting in the UFC.

38:26Sounds fucking awesome, to be honest. We should live in that reality. Bless Kurt. I love these interviews every month, because he just says shit, and it's great. Paul Heyman left WWE this month. While Big Show made it clear he has no intention to re-sign. Big Show and Kurt Angle are friends, and Show lives in Tampa, so there's speculation already begun within TNA that Show might be open to signing. He's friends with Kurt, and he's lazy, so TNA could be a great fit, said one wrestler, noting that he can work three times a month, still be around wrestling, be close to home, and not have to travel. That's fucking awesome. I mean, yeah, like, there's parts of, like, you know, we saw it with AEW at the start, too,

38:59where it's like, you know, part of the appeal was you don't have to go on the fucking road all the time and fucking break your body and travel and, like, whatever, you know? Like, that was a big plus, so you would see it, especially if you live in that area, like, how it could be, you know, something to consider, at least. That was, like, the big thing with Nash in TNA, where he's like, I live 20 minutes from Universal Studios, I drive there, I do some bullshit, I go home, I get paid. Yeah, sounds like a good fucking job. You take it if you can get it. I'm surprised Big Show never did TNA.

39:29I'm sure there was discussions, and maybe they were, like, is he worth it after we've already signed Kurt and we've already signed Sting and our roster pay bill is suddenly getting a little bit top-heavy? Because Big Show would no doubt be, at the very least, a mid-to-high six-figure contract, which maybe they were like, ooh, maybe, maybe not right now. But, yeah, it's an interesting one. I don't know how it would have gone, but, you know, could have been something. Yeah, because, like, Big Show who can move versus Prime Joe. Yeah, I was about to say, who would he work? But then, like, him against Joe was, like, a one-off, build it up like he built the Steiner match.

40:02Yeah, him versus Abyss. Yeah, that could have been some fun there. Yeah. Paul White. Yes. No more BS. The large event, or whatever he would have been called in TNA. Yeah. You probably couldn't trademark The Giant, right? Ah, I'm not sure. You could probably, I would imagine it would be pretty hard to get a trademark on something as, like, obscure as The Giant. So maybe you could go back to his WCW name. Yeah, I'm not sure. Regarding December to Dismember, Tess used a chair shot in Rob Van Damme and then climbed on top of the chamber with Schoen and jumped off with a nabble drop onto a chair, covering

40:35Rob Van Damme. Tess got the pin in 14 minutes, to which fans responded by chanting TNA. They're like, we're really waiting for 2009. It really, it's really funny that, like, this is the moment where fans are, like, TNA is big enough and, like, fans are aware enough that if something bad happens on WBTV, then they chant TNA. We can show our displeasure by saying the name of another pro wrestling company. But then also, now TNA is, like, the exact same style of product. Yeah. Even then.

41:05Yeah. It's like, it's not like it's fucking ROH, you know? So it's not like TNA can, like, pat themselves on the back where, like, there was a fucking We Want Wrestling chant on their own pay-per-view this month. Yeah. It's like, you're in the same fucking set, you know? They can't even be like, hell yeah, fuck you, WWE. Go fuck yourself. Look, they're chanting. Oh, wait, our show's the same as yours. Yeah, exactly. It's like, hey, you don't really, you don't really have much of a high ground to stand on, but, you know, it's more the fact that you have become counterculture enough to be the chant used when we want to show our displeasure for something on the show.

41:40It's like, when they chant CM Punk, they weren't just going, we love CM Punk. It was, hey, we're saying something that you won't like because we're pissed at you. Because this thing sucks. Yeah. Has there ever been an AEW chant on a WWE show? Yeah. Oh, like, during the Fiend match there was, wasn't there? The Fiend Rollins match? Yeah. I mean, there's been an AEW chant before. There was an AEW chant when Billy Gunn was at the Hall of Fame. Yeah. When they had the classic, we'll buy your piss end company line. Good luck. Yeah, it's going well. They really, they really got rid of it. Mm-hmm. And good luck being like, hey, billionaire who has more money than us, we'll buy it out

42:12from under him. Yeah. He will just fund it if he wants to. You can literally fuck him over in every facet, and if he wants to, he can just keep doing it. Yes. That company could lose $200 million a year, and it could still exist if they want to, because they're fucking billionaires, bro. Yeah. TNA ended up being fined $225. Holy shit. That's straight out of the Big Show budget. Yeah, that's why they couldn't sign him. They were actually $225 short. And Big Show just wouldn't move. Yeah. After the fire that took place at the Hard Justice pay-per-view, OSHA conducted an investigation

42:44of the Universal Studios after the fire, and the fine was not for having an adequate emergency action plan. So that's the reason they were fined $225. They didn't have a plan for if something went wrong. I feel like that should be a bigger fine. Yeah, $225 is not, like, the disincentive you would want for what happens when the building catches fire during a live event. And, like, maybe everyone could have, like, died. Yep. You know, it feels like we should, there should be more, like, hey, we should fix this. We should, you should be fixed, you should not have this problem come up.

43:15From this point forward, a TNA event, specific employees have to be designated to have portable fire extinguishers as part of an emergency action plan. Well, that's good. Seems smart. It does seem incredibly smart. Seems like, if the place got just fire, you and you have to put it out. But, Steve and John, you're in charge if the whole thing turns into a raging inferno. The only guys who can stand between the fire and abyss. Oh my god. Maybe abyss should be in charge of getting rid of it. Yeah, he probably could, I think.

43:46Because, like, he does his pose and fire shoots up, but it also goes out. So I think that's part of his abilities. We should probably mention Heyman. I've rushed past it real quick. This is obviously the end of 2006. I, I, because, like, the thing about Heyman, and I never, I think, like, it's, he never wanted to work TNA. That's always, like, my headline thing. No matter what anybody says, there, there's no world in which he, like, earnestly wanted to work for TNA. It was all a bunch of bullshit. But, it's, it's really funny how, like, if he had become available in August, would there

44:16be a world where, instead of looking to Russo, you would look toward Heyman a little stronger? I mean, they probably would have made a play. Yeah? Like, I mean, I don't see a world where they don't make a play. But, like, Heyman's busy. He's gotta go, like, run his, like, pseudo-porn babes websites and his bullshit business stuff and just, in general, be the sleaziest man to ever exist. That Heyman hustle stuff is real creepy, both now and in retrospect. Yeah, it's, it's so, like, like, I don't know, it would make fucking barstool sports cringe.

44:48Hmm. He really does seem like a man who has never, like, moved beyond the culture in which he was raised. Yeah. It was, like, his 90s shock jock extreme culture, which was really, like, that was the moment and the zeitgeist, and he found great success in that moment. And it just felt like he'd never, like, even, like, 2002 SmackDown, when that stuff, there was still fucking horrendous stuff on both WWE and TNA television at that point. But, like, the, the cultural moment was moving on and away from that stuff. And he still had, like, all the, like, Billy and Chuck stuff and, like, the Don Marie Al

45:19Wilson stuff and all the, like, the kind of classically Heyman 90s stuff. And then, like, even fast forward to when he had the brief run back running Raw in, like, 2019 or whenever that was. Mm-hmm. And, like, same thing, it happened, it had all, like, the weird Heyman-isms coming back in again. It's, like, he really just never left that stuff behind. The Heyman Hustle is the disruptive media platform founded by legendary WWE writer, director, producer, personality, Paul Heyman, who currently serves as special counsel to the Undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion and certified perennial WrestleMania main event

45:51of Roman Reigns. Home to the anti-influencer influencer hashtag hustle booty temp tat supermodel brand, the Hustle provides exclusive content and covers the latest news, viral videos, and trends in all things sports, entertainment, sports entertainment, metaverse, and gaming. Paul Heyman has been hustling since he was only 13 years old. When he sold his startup movie memorabilia mail order business to purchase a camera and photo lab that he set up in his parents' basement, leading to him becoming a photographer for several New York City-based entities. In 1993, he took on two multi-billion dollar entities in the pro wrestling industry, Vince

46:26McMahon's WWE and Ted Turner's WCW, by launching Extreme Championship Wrestling, making history and ushering in what would be known as the Attitude Era. In his spare time, he co-founded the Park Avenue-based Looking for Larry Agency, which is known for its wildly imaginative campaigns for 2K Sports, NASCAR, Smart Cups, Monster Trucks, EA Sports, and the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas, newly rechristened the Virgin Las Vegas, where Heyman's agency established the hashtag hustle booty temp tat supermodel brand as a legit

46:58competitor to sports, illustrated swimsuit models, and Victoria's Secret Angels. The hustle, as one can see, is real. Sure. What a deeply unpleasant vibe. Hashtag HBTT. Yeah. Yeah, it's all, it's, it's fucking godaddy.com, it's fucking barstool, it's just, you know, it's stern, it's fucking all this bullshit. That's the, it's not even original, it's just the same old bullshit rehashed and being called disruptive. Anything that calls itself disruptive isn't disruptive.

47:29I'm, it's one of my least favorite words, because it's like, it's the, it's the kind of word that you say when you actually, you're not doing anything. It's like, we're disrupting the market. It's like, you're just being, like, you're just. So you're being annoying. And like, you can be like, Uber is disrupting the market. You're just a different form of taxi. Like, that's, that's all you're doing. You're just, we've had taxis for as long as we've had cars. Like, you're not doing anything, like, the delivery method is different, but it's the

48:00same product. And like, and there was a quote this week about how, like, HBO Max were like, you know, after the success of the pit, we're going to try this whole produce lower budget, but higher quality stuff more often approach. You know, the way like television fucking used to be before you quote unquote disrupted it, which are bullshit. Yeah. Ugh. I hate tech bros. I hate technology. They don't, the technology has not built anything good in like 15 years. Yeah. It makes sense why he's like an AI guy.

48:32Hmm. That is the news. That brings us to broad topics, starting with the dream match of the decade to the rematch,