241 Relax and You Will Manifest Anything You Desire

Introduction

0:01Right now, you're creating your reality, but not in the way that you think. See, most people believe their life is shaped by effort, strategy, and control, and so they try to manage everything—the outcomes, the timing, the way things unfold—thinking that if they just push a little harder, everything will finally fall into place. But if you really look at it, that approach doesn't create results. It creates pressure, frustration, and exhaustion. Because the harder you try to control your reality, the more you actually get in the way of it. And that's the paradox.

0:32What actually shapes your reality is not how hard you try. It is the state that you're operating from. And for most people, that state is control. They're trying to make things happen, trying to bend reality to their will. But control is rooted in a very specific signal, which is, what I want is not here yet. And that's the reality that you get stuck in. So instead of getting what you want, you keep recreating the same problems, the same challenges, stuck in the same gap forever. Which is why the shift is so counterintuitive.

1:02Because the moment you stop forcing and start relaxing, things start moving. Not because you gave up, not because you stopped caring, but because you stopped interfering. The moment you no longer need anything is actually the moment you become magnetic to everything. In this episode, I'm going to show you what doing nothing actually means. How to let go of control without losing power. And how to shift into a state so magnetic that reality has no choice but to respond to your will. So let's get into it.

Show Overview

1:33Welcome to A Changed Mind. A journey into the topics that matter to you most. From the neuroscience and spirituality of mindset and personal growth. To groundbreaking strategies for health, wealth, and relationships. To open and honest conversations about pressing global issues such as the environment, censorship, corporate capture, and democracy. Each and every episode reminds us of the certainty of the goodness of the future. And provides the teachings, tools, and timeless wisdom inspiring you to create real lasting change in your life and in the world.

2:04If you've been desiring a sanctuary for your spirit, a place to go to tune out the distraction, negativity, and doom and gloom. So that you can tap into the deep power, the vibrancy, and the potential you have inside, you're in the right place. Welcome to A Changed Mind. Hey, real quick before we continue with today's episode, we're growing fast right now. And that means our team is growing too. And so right now we have an open opportunity for a senior level customer service manager to come in and help us build out our customer care department from the ground up.

2:37So if you have experience creating SOPs, building ticketing systems, knowing your way around to CRM and can bring AI tools into the customer experience, we would love to hear from you. This is a great opportunity for someone who knows how to build a department that takes care of people at the highest level, especially if you want to be a part of an organization that's genuinely changing people's lives. If that's you, check out the link in the show notes in the description here of this episode for more details and apply. And now, back to your regularly scheduled episode.

Success Equation

3:08All right, guys, let's start by establishing the most important rule of success. There is one equation, which I've talked about on a lot of different episodes, that distills all of personal growth, all of high-performance success laws into a simple formula. And that is desire plus non-resistance equals desired result. You can write that down, put it on a bumper sticker. I recommend you get a tattoo of it if you can, because if you want to achieve something, you want to make more money, you want to grow your business, you want to hire the right employee, you want to get a better job, you want to improve your relationship or find a soulmate, heal your chronic health condition, add 20 pounds of muscle or overcome your anxiety.

3:49Whatever desire you have, if you become non-resistant to the desire, you will produce the result 100% of the time, consistently and predictably. Now, here's the thing. You know whether or not you're in some form of resistance based on how you feel. So if you feel good, states like joy, curiosity, anticipation, peace, exhilaration, you're not in resistance. But if you feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, angry, bored, emotions that don't feel good, that's when you're in resistance.

4:21It's really simple, really straightforward. Now, let's apply this to our day-to-day lives as we strive to achieve our goals. The moment you believe that you need to make something happen or it won't happen, does that thought make you feel good or make you feel bad? Bad, clearly. These ideas that I have to work hard, that I have to get this to work, that I have to figure it out, that is resistance. And that resistance is what creates a gap between you and the outcome itself.

4:53So what you see is that trying to control things introduces pressure. And that pressure is revealing a fear. It is a doubt about whether or not what you want will actually happen. And that's how we get resistance in the system. See, most people think that effort can overcome that gap. But effort built on tension just reinforces it because now you're not taking action from a place of enthusiasm or certainty. You're taking action from the fear of not having the thing that you want.

5:28And so that's what you create more of, not having it. Because your brain is a goal-achieving machine. In other words, you get stuck in this gap forever. However, if you believe you're not going to have something that you want, then you're going to stay there. The universe only hears the frequency, which is the thoughts and the emotions that are driving your action or your behavior. It's not rewarding the action itself. It is responding to your state of being. And so the control, the hustle, the grind, these are indicators. These are symptoms of a fear and a doubt.

5:59And that fear and doubt are the very thing that keep the results out of reach. That reaction becomes the very thing that keeps you from achieving what you want. Let me give you an example. Let's take money because this is such a big topic for people. Let's say you want to make more money. And so you decide you're going to make more money. And so what most people do is they immediately start trying to figure out how to make more money. So let's say you come up with a plan. You know, well, you know, I could start my own business. Okay, what could I do? I could create a clothing company. Next thing you know, they've started a clothing company or a supplement company or a marketing agency.

6:33And now they're running the business. And now they have expenses. And now they need to get things to work because they have these expenses. And then they become stressed. And they have to get their online marketing to work. So they start trying to figure that out, trying to control their outcomes. And at some point, usually fairly soon, the business becomes stressful. And that stress, that control, that trying puts them in a state of resistance. And that's why, if you look at the stats, 50% of new businesses fail in the first five years. 70% don't make it past 10.

7:05Okay? So what do we do? And the answer is the control paradox. The answer is, rather than trying to control things, you do nothing. Now, I'm going to explain this by way of a short story. Okay? I've told this story before, but it's really useful for this principle. In the beginning of 2013, I had my own business, but it was really like a glorified job. I was paying myself 70,000 years out of the business. The business was not making a lot of money, although I was working two to three times harder than if I had a job itself, right? So at the beginning of 2013, and I realized that I had this limiting belief that I could only make

7:39money from my business. And I had just read Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, so I set a new intention. I made a decision that I was going to make $60,000 from a source that was outside of my business. It seemed impossible at the time. There was nothing in my reality that would indicate that I could make 60 grand from something other than the work that I was doing. So I made this decision, and I decided I was going to make the $60,000 by the end of the year. And then I did nothing. I didn't try to make $60,000. I didn't look for another investment or a business opportunity.

8:10I just made the decision, and then I did nothing. So a few weeks later, a good friend of mine calls, and he says, hey, I got this buddy I want you to meet. The three of us go to lunch. And this was right when I had gotten into, well, I say a year after I got into recovery. So I had some sobriety under my belt. I stopped drinking alcohol. I stopped doing drugs. And having lunch with this guy, we were in similar industries. And my mutual friend said, hey, you know, Dave has been in recovery. He's been working at a 12-step program. The guy was like, oh, like, what is that? And I said, well, I used to be an alcoholic, and I was a drug addict. And so, you know, I work this recovery program.

8:42So we have lunch. The guy leaves. About a month later, he gives me a call. He says, hey, I hope you don't mind. I got your number from our mutual friend. He said, I just want to let you know, like, over the last month, my entire life has changed. You inspired me by our conversation. I had been drinking a lot. I had been using recreational drugs. I've stopped. And would you come to Tampa? I just want to thank you. I want to buy you lunch. So I lived in Orlando. It was about two hours to Tampa. Tampa, I drove to Tampa, and I'm sitting in this guy's office. He's finishing up a meeting. He ushers me in. He says, come sit down. And I'm listening to these two guys pitch this guy on a business idea.

9:16And it happened to be in an area of expertise. So we go to lunch, and he says, hey, isn't this your area of expertise? I said, yeah, it is. He said, what do you think of that idea that they were pitching me on? I said, it's a really good idea. They've actually addressed a lot of the problems that I had experienced when I tried this a few years ago. Now is really the right time. I said, cool, thanks. Buys me lunch. We had a great conversation that night. He calls me and he says, hey, I've negotiated to invest in and purchase half of that business. Do you want half of my half? He said, it's going to require this amount of money. It was a little bit of money. It wasn't a lot. It's basically what I had in my savings account.

9:47It was about $20,000. And I just had this inclination that I should do it. He said, but I'm going to need you to drive to Tampa once a week and kind of guide these guys on the business. I said, sure. So this was like May of 2013. And so I drive to Tampa back and forth once a week for about, I don't know, six months. And these two other founders are just completely chaotic. They're still partying. They're still popping bottles, going out to the club. So finally, I'm like, I really can't work with these guys anymore.

10:17They reach out to me and said, hey, it's no secret that we don't get along. We'd like to buy you out of your ownership of the company. I said, sure. So they made me a proposal. I said, no. I made a counterproposal. They said, no. Finally, we agreed on terms. In December 27th of that year, I got back my $20,000 investment plus $60,000 to the dollar. $60,000 by the end of the year from a source that was not my business or my job. So you see all these weird videos on YouTube that say, relax, do nothing, and everything

10:49will come to you. But this is the actual explanation of how that works. When you make a decision, when you set a goal, and then you are non-resistant to it, you almost forget about it. You will still take action. You will have ideas. As there are things that will show up in your reality, you will need to do things. You will look back. And when your friend says, hey, how did you achieve whatever goal that you set? You'll be able to tell them how you achieved it. But it's not because you tried to achieve it. It's because you worked with what life brought you in the present moment. And as you do that moment after moment after moment, over time, those string together and

11:19they produce a result. But the problem is that when we're intentional about what we want to create, we set a goal. And the moment we set a goal, think about it. The moment you decide you want something, you want to make more money. You know, you want to feel better about yourself. You want to be in a better relationship. You want to be healthier. The moment you set a goal, you start to notice the gap. We set a goal to become healthy. We notice that we don't feel well. We set a goal to meet the man or woman of our dreams. And we notice that all the different shitty dudes out there. We set a goal to make more money. And then we notice how little we have in our bank account.

11:51And there's a reason for this. It's the way the human being operating system works.

12:00Our system thinks that if we pay attention to and scrutinize and notice and try to solve the absence of the thing that we want, that will produce the thing that we want. Our system does not know that the master equation is desire plus non-resistance equals desired result. So what happens is we notice the absence of it. And then to overcome the absence of the thing that we want, we think we need to plan, scheme, control, hustle, grind. And by the way, that's what Instagram and YouTube influencers tell us. Navy SEALs, high performers, 5 a.m. club, wrestle the problem to the ground.

12:33Wake up early. Use smart goals. Okay, then why are so many people not achieving their goals? The answer is because the manifestation of what you want is a byproduct of non-resistance. And the belief that you have to do something, that you have to work hard, that you have to figure it out, sacrifice your health, have more time or money, all those beliefs put you in a primal state or a resistant state, and you cannot get where you want to go from there. Now, someone listening in on our conversation would say, I mean, come on, man, right? Don't I have to take action?

13:04Like I said, 100%. I take action every single day. And by the way, I am no means a perfect example of how to apply this formula into your life. It's a practice. But as much as possible, I try to take action from a powerful state, a relaxed state, a surrendered state. I take action not from the belief that I need to do it all, but I take action from the belief that help is on the way. I take action not from the belief that there's not enough time, but the timing will line things up for me. I take action not from the idea that I have to control my outcomes, but that my outcomes

13:37are controlled by a power much greater than myself. I am in a co-creation of my goals and dreams within an omnipotent, omniscient power. Those beliefs allow me to stay in a powerful state, to take faithful daily action. And so what happens? Well, this is just psychology. Like this is just neuroscience because as a result of these beliefs, I'm in a higher vibrational state, a more powerful state, and therefore I have higher vibrational thoughts, more intelligent thoughts. Because I'm in a non-resistant state, I'm feeling better.

14:09And so I take intelligent, consistent action and I start to align myself with the outcome that I want, not by trying to create the result, but by relaxing into the inevitability of it. Relax. Look at great musicians. Look at the world's greatest athletes. Look at powerful speakers on stage. What do they all have in common? They're relaxed. When you relax, you are intuitive. You're resourced. You're in flow. You have to relax. You can't perform in life if you're tight.

14:41But just notice, everyone is running around tight these days. Tight from caffeine. Tight from swiping their phones. Tight from watching the news. Tight from their own thoughts. You can't create what you want from that place. You have to relax. You have to let go. You know, when I first heard this, it sounded like pot-smoking hippie advice. Take this from a former smoker of massive amounts of marijuana. That's what it sounded like. Just relax, man. Let go.

15:12But there's wisdom to it. We're not saying don't take action. We're saying it's okay to have your goals and your dreams. That's great. It's okay to do some planning. But you have to notice when you start to get tight, when you start worrying, when you start controlling, when you start grinding, then you got to relax. You got to step away from the problem. You got to give it some space. You know, one of the things I've learned over the course of my life is that problems come to pass. They don't come to stay. But if you keep hanging out with the problem, trying to solve it, trying to talk to it,

15:46trying to argue with it, trying to control it, it can't pass. It stays. You ever have a problem and you've been trying to wrestle it to the ground and you're like, this thing just won't die. It's like one of those unkillable zombies. It's like, why won't you just die? Problem. And then finally, you get so exhausted from it that you give up and a day later, the problem resolves itself.

16:12I say, listen to the hippies, man. Relax. Let go. And this is an art. It's a practice. This is why high performers burn out because they're trying to kill the zombies. It makes no sense to a high performer. Wait, you mean just do anything other than try to solve this problem and the problem will be solved? Yes, that's what I'm saying. Walk away. Create space for the new idea. Go for a walk. Pet the dog. Walk in nature.

16:43Let life do what life has been trying to do. Maybe it'll resolve on its own. Maybe you'll have a new idea. Hasn't that happened to you before? Jesus, among many titles, the greatest metaphysician who ever lived, said, My yoke is easy. My burden is light. He's like, when you understand it and you start to live in the way that I'm showing you how to live, you know you need to relax. There's no need to control. That's not how you get from here to there. Does this make sense? Good.

17:13Listen, a lot of people listen to this show. I see the comments, by the way. I thank you so much for all your love and all your feedback. And if you really want to create change in your life, if you want to learn to let go so that you can have everything that you want, it's a practice. And you know what? It actually doesn't come from listening to a podcast episode. That's part of it. It comes from practicing everything that we've talked about in this episode. And I have a unique opportunity for you. The link is in the show notes. I usually don't do this, but I'm hosting a three-day live virtual event from the comfort

17:43of your home. It's May 15th through 17th. I want to invite you to join me. I'm going to be taking a few hundred people through the whole human framework. That's my transformational 12-step system where you'll spend three days with me getting clear on all your goals, identifying all the patterns of resistance that are keeping you stuck in the gap, and working through the 12 steps to learn the system and the tools to transform the resistance so you can let go of what no longer serves you and step into your next level of business or career or life or health. I usually only do this for my high-level clients who pay $25,000 plus to be in the room, but I'm

18:17going to be doing it for a small fraction of that investment coming up here in mid-May. Again, no travel, no flights, no hotels, a really unique opportunity for you and I to go deeper into this work together. So check out the link in the description of this episode. And the big takeaway here is you're probably trying too hard. You're probably controlling things that are not meant for you to control. And if you're just willing to let go a little bit, if you're willing to relax, you get to have it all. Not only do you get to relax and have that space back, not only do you not need to figure it out, not only will you in the process build an even deeper relationship with your higher power

18:49because you will see how the miracles of reality function around you, but that's also the way that you get the result. That's how you close the gap. Desire plus non-resistance equals desired result. Do me a favor. If you haven't yet and you love this episode, subscribe. It's a great way for us to build this community. I'm so appreciative of you giving me the opportunity to share this counter-perspective with you, the great control paradox. And if you think this episode is worthy of sharing, absolutely do it. I mean, this is not a do-it-yourself project here.

19:20This thing called personal growth, it's a do-it-with-others and we're growing quickly. A lot of people are coming into this work and we're doing it together and you're a part of that. I want to thank you. I love you very much. Thank you for being here with me today.

Conclusion and Next Steps

19:31I hope to see you at the three-day Whole Human Framework virtual event. Again, all those details are in the description. And for sure, I will see you in the next episode.

19:43Hey, it's David. One more thing. If you want to go even deeper on everything we've talked about on today's episode, don't forget to jump over to www.davidbaird.com. You can find the link in the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter. A couple of times a week, I'm going to be sending you the latest episodes that we've released along with additional free trainings. You'll get immediate access to my free MindHack ebook and go even deeper into all the tools, the technologies, the frameworks that have helped tens of thousands of people establish a changed mind.

20:14Don't forget to jump on over to the site and I will see you in the next episode.

20:19Bye. Bye.