Is This Mine to Carry?

0:00Hey friend, welcome to the Art and Soul Show. I'm your host, Lisa DeJaso, a mom, a photographer, and entrepreneur. Tune in here for pep talks, conversations, and advice on photography, creativity, mindset, business, life, and that messy in between. This is the place where you can go when you need a boost of encouragement, a kick in the pants, and inspiration to pick up your camera. This is the Art and Soul Show.

0:27Hello, my beautiful friend. Welcome back to the show. So let me start with a question that changed everything for me. Is this mine to carry? It sounds simple. Almost too simple, right? But stay with me because if you actually start asking yourself this question in your photography business and in your life, it will lift a weight off your shoulders you didn't even realize you were hauling around. Because here's the thing about us photographers. We are professional carriers and I don't just mean carrying lenses and light stands and props

1:01and a newborn beanbag that makes you question your life choices every time you haul it up a staircase. I mean carrying everything. We carry our client's stress. We carry their insecurities. We carry their family dynamics, their toddler meltdowns, their husbands who would rather be golfing. We carry the algorithm silence, the comparison game, the whispers that maybe we're not good enough. We even carry the ridiculous little details we have zero control over, like the weather

1:31or whether a toddler ate lunch or had a nap before the session. And without even realizing it, we start to believe it's all ours to carry. I've been there. Now I remember one session in particular. I had a family with three kids under the age of six and the mom was on edge before we even started. She kept apologizing. She kept snapping at her husband and she kept begging her kids to please just behave. And I could just feel the stress in everybody climb higher and higher.

2:04And instead of just holding space for it, instead of saying, Hey, don't worry, I've got this. Let's just breathe. I absorbed it. And suddenly her stress was my stress. Her frustration was my responsibility. And the entire session, instead of focusing on making art, I carried the weight of making sure she felt okay. And let me tell you, my friend, that is exhausting. And by the time I got home, I wasn't just tired. I was drained. I had taken her energy, her emotions, her whole family dynamic, and I carried that all home

2:37with myself. And you know what? It wasn't mine to carry. And here's another way this shows up. Business outcomes. Now, raise your hand. Now, okay, I can't see you, but humor me. If you've ever gotten inquiry, sent over your pricing and then heard nothing back. And instead of thinking, cool, they just weren't a right fit. Your brain went suddenly to I'm failing. No one values me. Maybe I should just quit. But here's the truth. It's not yours to carry when someone doesn't book you.

3:10Their decision is about them. Their budget. Their preferences. Their priorities. You don't know the full story. But what do we do? We carry it like a giant neon sign that says you're not good enough. I've carried so many things outside of my control. It's laughable. Like the weather. I used to take it seriously personally when it rained on a session day. Like somehow it was my fault. I'd feel so guilty rescheduling. I'd feel guilty disappointing the family.

3:41Guilty for something that I had zero power over. Or how about this one? The toddler meltdowns. Tell me why I feel responsible for a three-year-old losing it during golden hour. As if I was responsible single-handedly preventing that nap. Or giving them too much sugar at grandma's house. It wasn't me. It sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud, right? But we do it all the time. We carry things that aren't ours because we think if we don't, everything will fall apart.

4:12And I get it. We care so deeply about our clients. We want them to be happy. We want them to feel loved and seen and valued. And that's what really makes us good at what we do. But when we carry everything that isn't ours too, we start to crush ourselves under that weight. So let's pause and ask instead. Is this mine to carry? Is this mine to carry that that toddler didn't nap? No. Is it mine to carry that the dad would rather look at his phone and he hates photos?

4:43No. Is it mine to carry that the algorithm tanked my last reel? No. Is it mine to carry that a client chose someone else? No. And you know what is mine to carry? My integrity. My consistency. My creativity. My creativity. The energy that I bring to a session. And the way I care for people when they're in front of my lens. That's it. That's mine. Everything else. Not mine.

5:14But here's the truth. You're not meant to carry it all. And when you start asking yourself, is this mine to carry? You start putting things down. You put down that toddler's tantrum. You put down that hatred of the algorithm. And you put down the client's budget. You put down that fear that every ghosted inquiry is a reflection of your worth. And when your arms are finally free, you can actually carry what matters. And let's talk about what that looks like. When I carry my integrity, I don't cut corners.

5:45I don't cheat. I don't do what feels out of alignment just to keep up. That's mine. When I carry my consistency, I keep showing up even when it's hard. Even when the legs are low. That's mine. When I carry my creativity, I push myself to see the world differently. To make art that feels alive. And to experiment and to play. That's mine. And when I carry my heart, I show up for my clients with care.

6:15I hold space for them. I give them images that are full of connection and that matter. That's mine. But everything else? Not mine. So the next time you might be spiraling, next time you're carrying the weight of a client's stress or the industry's expectations, I want you to stop and literally ask yourself out loud. Is this mine to carry? And if the answer is no, put it down. If the answer is yes, carry it with pride. And let me also add this.

6:47Carrying what's yours doesn't mean it's easy. Carrying integrity, consistency, creativity, and heart, that is still work. But it's work that fills you instead of emptying you. And here's the thing. You cannot run a business while carrying everyone else's baggage too. You can't carry your client's family drama, the industry's pressure, and your own perfectionism on top of that because it's too heavy. And if you keep trying, you will collapse.

7:18So my friend, I want you to ask yourself every day, every session, every time you open Instagram and feel that twinge of comparison, every time you send a pricing guide and hear nothing back, every time a client shows up late and somehow you feel it's your fault, every time you feel like you're not enough, stop and breathe and ask, is this mine to carry? And then put down what isn't yours. Because my friend, you are already carrying enough.

7:52I am sending you so much of my light and love today and every single day. I'll see you next time. Thank you.