Bias: Revenge

Introduction to Episode

0:00Hello and welcome to Everything's Psychology. I'm Paul Davis. This is another episode where I'm going to read you a story. It's a story that I've written, it's fictional, but it is based in psychology. It's part of a series of stories that I am attempting to write all about behavioural biases and how they can affect us. So each story that I'm reading out is going to start with a factual-based introduction to the bias, what it is, maybe

0:31some experiments that have involved it, and that leads then into the fictional story where that behavioural bias affects the characters in some way. This week's story is all about

Revenge as Behavioral Bias

0:42revenge. Now, revenge may not be something you think of traditionally as a behavioural bias, but when you think about it, a behavioural bias is something which influences our behaviour and maybe makes us act irrationally because of it. And revenge fits that very well. And in the introduction to this, you'll hear how revenge has its history way back in the Babylonian times. The story I've written is called Bill and May, and it's heavily based, in fact it's a retelling really of a Roald Dahl story that I love, and I used this really as practice when

1:19I was first thinking of writing these stories. I thought, well, I can take the pressure out of having the plot and the storyline, because if I rewrite a story from somebody else, then that makes that easy. I can just concentrate on the words and the writing and things like that. So this is heavily based, a retelling more than heavily based, of William and Mary, the story from

Inspiration from Roald Dahl

1:42Roald Dahl. And I would really encourage you to go and read it. I think it's an amazing story in the Roald Dahl collection. I found it in a book called Kiss Kiss, which is a series of short stories by Roald Dahl. I think it's in other collections as well. When I was writing it, it kind of got me thinking that, why don't people rewrite other people's stories? You know, it's the norm really, isn't it, to have modern artists re-sing songs from years and decades ago, and with a modern

2:14interpretation to it. And often that reintroduces a modern audience to the original song as well. And we also do that with films. Films get remade every 10 years or so. And, you know, again, a new director comes and gives a new vision and a new idea, and then own take on it. But we don't do it with stories. Once a story's written by an author, that's it. It never gets rewritten again. And often, I think, things get forgotten. People go out to their bookshop and look for all the new

2:46things that are coming out, but maybe don't go backwards. And if we did have people rewriting or giving homages and an update to stories, I think that would encourage people to go back and look at the originals as well. And I hope this story does exactly that. I fully encourage you, go and get Roald Dahl Kiss Kiss. There's plenty of wonderful stories in there, including The Champion of the World, which is the original story which led on to Danny, the Champion of the World, and Royal Jelly, which if you've ever seen The Tales of the Unexpected on the

3:18television, Royal Jelly is one of my favourites, and that's in there as well.

Start of Bill and May Story

3:22Anyway, enough of me waffling on. Let's get on with the story. So this story is called Bill and May, and it's all about the behavioural bias of revenge.

3:38When you think about behavioural biases affecting people's decisions, revenge may not immediately come to mind. If it does, then you may need to contact your therapist. The concept of revenge is older than the written word, and it permeates every culture across the globe. An eye for an eye may no longer be the moral projected by contemporary justice systems, but it was the foundation behind the oldest set of laws in human history. Composed during 1755 and 1750 BC, the Babylonians wrote

4:16The Code of Hammurabi, which set down over 300 laws. Many advocated revenge, and much of it physical, such as chopping a child's hand off for robbery as a valid means for social justice.

4:34Seeking revenge against someone who has wronged you, or people close to you, feels natural. So natural that people often seek revenge even if they'll end up worse off themselves. In 1993, even though her act of revenge would likely mean a long prison sentence, Lorena Bobbitt proceeded to chop off her abusive husband's penis and throw it from the car window into the long grass. She was actually found not guilty by the jury, who decided she was temporarily insane. There are economic gains which seek to

5:10investigate how much people value revenge. The ultimatum game involves two players. The first is given 100 monetary units, dollars or pounds, and told that they must offer some of the money to the second player. It's a one-time deal, there's no haggling, and if the second player accepts what they're being offered, they both get to keep the respective amounts. However, if the second player rejects the proposal, the money is returned and they both gain nothing. Now what would you do if you

5:45were the second player in this game and were offered just one unit, one dollar, when you knew they had twenty dollars to choose from to give you? Now if you were purely rational about this, you should accept. After all, you would be better off than when you started. However, unless you're a robot, it's more likely that you'll sacrifice your small gain for the larger reward of seeing the other player go home with nothing themselves. This is not strictly rational behaviour, but it is emotionally rewarding.

6:23And neuroimaging studies of brain activity in situations of seeking revenge have shown that the cordite nucleus is heavily involved in making such decisions. This part of our little grey cells is usually connected with the pleasure of receiving rewards. It seems that revenge isn't just personal, it's built into the deepest structures of our minds.

Bill's Story Begins

6:48Will it hurt? Of course not. You'll be dead. Andy wasn't being unkind. It was simply a fact. Bill paused for a moment before responding. Well, I suppose that's all right then. It had been six weeks since Bill had passed. May's tears had dried up. But when the concerned inquired

7:24or the worried visited, she continued to feign the body language of loss, tilting her head down, raising a tissue to her nose, enclosing her eyes as if remembering all the wonderful times now buried in the past. In reality, fond memories were few and far between. When attempting to recall affectionate moments that explained her long tenure tethered to him, May found herself needing to go further and further back.

7:55She could see it in the eyes of her visitors. The eyes can tell you what the soul is really saying. The mouth can lie, but their eyes give everything away. Nobody was brave enough to come out and say that it must be a relief, but she knew the sentiment was there. Even Bill's relatives opened their eyes wide as if trying to telepathically signal their sympathies without ever needing to be on record.

8:25May believed she could detect people's true intentions just from their eyes. She used to caution Bill when she had spied something suspect in a visitor's glance, but he refused to listen. To him, it was gibberish that she had just picked up from romantic books and women's magazines. If something wasn't based on empirical science, it wasn't worth talking about and certainly not hearing about from his wife. Ultimately, she learned to keep her remarks and observations to herself.

8:57She looked over at Bill's empty chair, still surrounded by his books. It was a blood-red, wing-backed Chesterfield with Queen Anne legs and it had visible stains on the right arm where Bill rested his wine glass when reading. He would be there every evening after dinner and she would be opposite on the sofa reading the latest crime thriller. She would often catch him looking over the top of his book and watching her. His eyes were of the palest blue. If it weren't for the thin ring of black

9:33around the edge of the iris, they would blend into the cellar. When they had met, May was beguiled by these lagoons of blue, awash with bursts of light streaks. She'd never seen eyes like them. As time passed, their charm faded and was replaced with the unnatural feeling of being analysed by a machine. Her every action processed and assimilated into a vast memory palace of her behaviours. The machine judged and the machine disapproved. Even now, after six weeks alone, she couldn't shrug off

10:10the feeling of those eyes watching her from over the top of his book, through the doorway or following her round the house. She told herself that she would sell up once probate was complete. This townhouse was too grand. It was Bill's choice. Situated near his university, Bill regularly invited Benedict and Eugene over to drink and discuss philosophy, politics and other profundities in his wood-lined library. None of his faculty members could afford such extravagant homes on their salary

10:43and neither could Bill if it weren't for family money. Work was just a hobby for him. Not needing for anything financially meant Bill could indulge himself in a profession which satiated his need to be seen as an intellectual. May hated to admit it to herself, but his money was the principal reason why she had stayed. The prenup that Bill had her sign when they got married meant that his family money wouldn't go to her, but she would get the townhouse. The money from the sale would give her more than

11:18enough to set herself up in a small apartment and plenty left to decide how to live her life. Looking back, she loathed how she didn't stand up to him when he forbade her to listen to modern music, and outlawed television shows that he deemed unfit. Even natural history documentaries were no longer acceptable in Bill's eyes as the modern ones were scripted with footage shot to order. He used to lecture May on how they purposefully constructed an emotional narrative arc the Philistines could

11:51connect with. If she had spoken up, made her point more eloquently, and met him on his level, before, maybe he would have capitulated, and maybe they would have been happier.

12:04It was now time to get on with her life. May thought that experiencing death was like walking along a vertiginous cliff edge. You could easily be swept off into the deep ocean of abandonment, succumbing to the panic of being alone and the terror of living with no force looking after you. The alternative is to walk away from the edge and start living. Take the opportunity to be free and see where life takes you. For May, the chance to turn her back on the past and walk towards her

12:36future was an active choice and one she relished. She would start small. Needing to catch up on the parts of her life that had drifted since Bill's death, she reached across the sofa and opened her laptop. The blue glow from the screen reflected off her amber glasses as she navigated to her emails. The little red dot showed that over 200 unopened messages were vying for her attention. As she scrolled down the list, most were easily disposed of as junk, newsletters or offers of

13:10exclusive discounts she couldn't afford to miss. Others offered words of condolence from distant acquaintances, either physically or emotionally. Her attention was then drawn to an email from the solicitors dealing with Bill's estate. It was sent two weeks ago. She should have looked before. This could be regarding the final arrangements. But why wouldn't they phone if it was important?

13:36Skipping past the customary fawning prologue, May was surprised to find that the object of the email was not probate. As part of your late husband's will, we have been instructed to send you the attached document. We have not done so until now, as we needed to wait for approval from a third party per your husband's wishes. May skimmed the remainder of the solicitor's message, but it held no hints as to the purpose of the attachment. Was it possible that he had lamented on his stiff and formal attitude to

14:10their marriage and poured out his pent-up emotions in a final letter declaring his love and sharing the tender thoughts that never managed to surface in life? Would he finally thank her for the thirty years of starching his shirts, cooking only the meals that he liked, and suffering the endless live recordings of Led Zeppelin? If this was the case, why delay sending it to her? And who is this third party, the solicitor mentioned? It was more probable that this was Bill's final set of instructions on

14:44how she should live her life without him. Maybe he had set up a trust fund with restrictions on what she needed to adhere to to benefit from his money. That would be just like him, controlling her from the grave. It would also explain the need for a third party, Bill's proxy judge, to determine her suitability for a stipend. She hesitated, suspicious of what the mysterious attachment would reveal. Could she ignore it? Is refusing to acknowledge the wishes of the dead something one could do?

15:18Of course she could. This was her life now, and Bill wasn't going to have any part in it. She wavered only for a moment before double-clicking the paperclip icon of the attachment. It was a letter from Bill. Typed up formally, using a stiff serif typeface, and even having a faux cream background, it was typical of how he couldn't let his formality slip, even in death. May's hopes of a posthumous love letter faded as she started to read his words.

15:51This note, my dear May, is entirely for you, and will be given to you after I'm gone. Refrain from being alarmed by the content of my words and their implication for your future. I have acted, as I always have, with your best interests in mind. I have constructed my prose purposely to make the ideas I share, that I must share, as simple as possible, so you will understand their meaning.

16:22Some of what follows is technical in nature, but I trust you will study the substance of what I say, even if it means you need to re-read my words until they become clear. Not only will you need to persevere with the cerebrally challenging nature of what I have to say, but I ask that you open your mind to the unconventional and be proud of what I have done. I also ask your forgiveness for my focused sense of purpose in this letter.

16:53If I had more time, I would love to write about our life together, and all I hold dear. My beloved Oxford, with its dreaming college spires, where I was honoured to have taught. The university church of St Mary the Virgin, which, in my humble opinion, dwarfs the Bodleian in its beauty, and time spent within the stone walls of the botanical garden savouring the perfume of the herbaceous borders. So many wonderful memories came over me as I lie in my hard hospital bed, suffering the

17:26indignity and dehumanising experiences that come from being mere cattle in a dispassionate care system. As you know, the cancer to which I have been afflicted is beyond the machines and medicines that any doctor can offer. I have stage 4 pancreatic cancer, and my consultant put it in no uncertain terms when he told me that there is no stage 5. But this is not a letter of self-pity or one vying for sympathy. You know all the details.

17:57Going over them once more would not benefit anyone, especially me. I only reiterate my condition as an introduction to my reason for writing and the circumstances in which it occurred.

Landy's Proposal to Bill

18:10As I lay in my wretched little bed, unable to sleep due to the early birds melodically announcing their presence to the worms, in strides Landy with madness in his eyes. This was six weeks ago from the time I wrote this letter, so even further into the past by the time you have read these words. I've mentioned John Landy to you once or twice, but I imagine you have no reason to recollect my college acquaintances. As you know, my field has always been in the philosophy of mind, but I have previously

18:44consulted for Landy on some of his more commercial projects involving artificial intelligence. He is widely known as a global leader in neural networks and is often approached by firms wishing to benefit from his technology. You need not bother yourself with what a neural network is, my love. Just know that Landy works across the disciplines of biology and technology. You may feel that my domain of philosophy and his world of computing have no overlap, but in

19:15that assumption you would be wrong, my dearest May. As information systems advance in their sophistication and artificial intelligence edges closer to the public's lives, the role of ethics is crucial. Our last project, some six years ago, was on the decisions a car's self-driving system needs to process when faced with a no-win situation. Imagine a car carrying four people is fast approaching a tunnel entrance, but the on-board computer detects that a child has wandered onto the road.

19:51If there's no opportunity to break in time, should the car swerve and collide with the edge of the tunnel's entrance, likely killing the car's occupants? Or should it maintain its course, hitting the child instead? For me, it's a joy to see the thought experiments of philosophers, such as Philippa Foot, blossoming into the real world. I have never bothered you with my work in this area, as I have never wanted to burden your mind with such fanatic thoughts.

20:23When Landy bounded into my room that morning, I was struck by his upbeat spirit, burgeoning on the excitement one might find in a child unable to sleep on Christmas Eve. After weeks of getting nothing but sombre looks from my visitors, I was somewhat grateful for the change in mood, but also curious about the reason behind his disposition and why I warranted such an early morning visit. It's really great to see you, Bill, he said, sweeping some grape stalks from the chair and sitting down next to me.

21:00Obviously, look, I'm sorry about the cancer, but actually that's perfect. In all the years I've known Landy, he'd never been one to suffer the small talk of others or engage in it himself, so I didn't take umbrage at his directness. The doctors tell me that in a couple of weeks you'll be dead. All your knowledge and all your experiences will be dead with you. Do you believe in reincarnation, Bill? Of course not, I said.

21:30When we're gone, we're gone. Our body and our mind, there's no coming back. That's what I thought, but you're wrong, Bill. You're dead wrong. Landy laughed out loud at his gallows humour. I'm not saying you're going to come back as a nightingale or a newborn baby or anything those spiritual nutbags would have you believe, but I want to offer you something, something better.

21:56Look, if you've found a cure for cancer, then you'd better get on the phone to the Nobel Prize board rather than sit in this dingy room with me. Landy shuffled the chair closer to my bed and stared at me with wild eyes, studying me like you would a fine steak. As I lay helpless under his stare, I was reminded that you once told me that you could determine people's feelings or even their intentions just by looking into their eyes. He was so close to me now that I could almost see his macula, but I was no closer to discerning his motives.

22:32So are you interested, Bill? I still don't know what I would be interested in. You're just gabbling. All I ask is that you listen to what I say and keep an open mind. It's not like I can go anywhere, John. You have a captive audience. He leaned back and crossed his legs. I watched as he tilted his head upwards to the ceiling in thought, and I could see that he hadn't trimmed his beard. Stubble was sprouting across his thin neck and creeping below his shirt collar.

23:05You know how I hate such slovenly behaviour, and it made me suspect that he hadn't slept for some time. I'd heard rumours that Landy often got so involved in his projects that he wouldn't go home for days, choosing to stay in his laboratory and catch only short naps when he could no longer function. With a sudden snap of his neck, he returned from his inner thoughts and returned his gaze to me. You already know about my work with artificial intelligence.

23:37Hell, you've helped me inject ethics and even create a pseudo-morality in my models. This was just the beginning, Bill, and I've been progressing my thinking and my experiments to be far more ambitious than staying within the confines of computer chips and circuit boards. I've concluded that we're stunting ourselves by only approaching the problem of artificial consciousness from one direction. We need to switch our thinking.

Landy's Ambitious Plan

24:06Landy leaned forward as if wanting to tell me a secret. I could see his hands shaking slightly, either from the excitement or lack of sleep. He lowered his voice, even though nobody else was in the room and my door was firmly closed. Attempting to programme such human traits as morality into a machine is damn hard. I won't lie to you, Bill. It's proving near impossible. Even with all the computing power available to us,

24:37the ability to adapt to developing circumstances and make inferences to guide the best actions is something that's involved in humans over millions and millions of years. We've desperately tried to replicate this ability by feeding our models millions of data points. It seriously got to the point where the term large language models doesn't do justice to the vast amount of information we've fed into it. So, I decided to stop banging our artificial heads against the Brit wall and attack the problem from the other side.

25:11The idea came to me late one night when I was at home, clicking through the television channels to find something to distract my thoughts. That old Steve Martin movie was on, the one where he falls in love with someone's brain in a jar. I don't know it, I said. No, I didn't think you would. Martin's character meets an eccentric doctor who removes people's brains but keeps them alive in a jar. When he's shown the doctor's bodiless subjects, Martin hears a voice coming from one of the brains,

25:46and it turns out that only he can hear that voice, and he falls in love with it. Is it a theatrical polemic on the nature of aesthetics and how we judge people by their physical characteristics rather than their mental ability? I said, hopefully. Of course not. It's a comedy movie, Bill. Landy cut me off. Please don't interrupt. Let me finish. The idea of free-floating brains in jars is, of course, preposterous. But it sparked an idea.

26:18Instead of trying to program a computer model to mimic human consciousness, why not try and combine it with real human consciousness? Our brains are obviously connected to our bodies, but only like an engine is connected to a car. An engine can still run when removed from the vehicle's bay. You just need to make sure it's still supplied with fuel and oil and has enough water to stop it from overheating. It was my turn to stare wide-eyed at Landy.

26:49I don't like where this conversation is going, I said. You promised that you'd hear me out. You'll be the one to benefit from this, so it's in your interest to be open-minded. I could see that there was no way to make him stop now. I lay back, directing my eyes at the mottled brown ceiling tiles, and waved my hand to indicate that he should continue, but that I was in no way in consonance with the idea that I think he was proposing. I started discussing with surgeons in this very hospital

27:22whether it was theoretically possible to remove a brain from the body, even withdrawing it from the skull, and for it to stay alive. At first, they thought the idea absurd, but when they set out challenges for such a procedure, they also started to realise that it was possible that each of their objections could really be overcome. Our brains need a good supply of oxygenated blood, but this doesn't need to be supplied by a biological heart.

27:53Any pump will do. Of course, there could be no disruption to the supply as the neurons quickly start shutting down, like when someone has a stroke. But if you started the artificial pump before the heart stopped, the handover would be imperceptible. A brain also needs glucose, which is really the fuel of the brain. But again, it's not picky where it comes from as long as it retains its supply. My surgeon friends continued to list their objections,

28:26but one by one, they also supplied the solutions. There's no doubt that the brain is the most complicated machine ever created, but keeping it alive turns out to be simpler than attempting to understand it. If you can fool it into thinking its blood supply, glucose, amino acids, proteins and vitamins haven't been cut off, it should continue functioning normally.

28:54Should? I said. Yeah, theoretically speaking. So, you haven't done this before then? Oh yes, I've been working on this for some months now. On animals. I mean, you would be the first human brain. I have an Alsatian upstairs, where we successfully completed the procedure, and now the brain is alive and conscious. From a biological point of view, the procedure with a dog differs very little

29:26from what we will carry out with you. I have in no way agreed to this, I said. Stop phrasing it like I've already given my consent. It sounds barbaric. What kind of life has this poor dog got now? Stuck in a jar, without any of the enjoyment of having its limbs, smells or sight. And you're suggesting this for me? And to think that I thought we were friends.

29:53Involuntarily, I turned in my bed, facing away from Landy. I could think of no worse fate than to be separated from all of my senses, with no means of communication. It would be a dark and silent prison with no escape. I couldn't believe John was suggesting something so vile.

30:14It won't be like that with a human brain, Bill, Landy continued. Our brains are more sophisticated. We can contemplate, plan and hypothesise. We can form logical arguments and muse over the meaning of things. As a professor of philosophy, you know that. And that's why I picked you. Of all the people I know, I thought you would relish the chance of being pure thought. I didn't reply,

30:44and remained facing the small oak wardrobe containing the clothes I most likely would never wear again. I had contemplated death. Of course, what philosopher hadn't? Schopenhauer, Schopenhauer, Sartre, Kierkegaard, Nietzsche and Heidegger, most concluded that, without death, we couldn't live. Knowing that a full stop would come at the end of our sentence motivates us to choose the right words leading up to it. If we could cheat death,

31:15we would likely be cheating ourselves. What Landy suggested was tantamount to deceiving the Grim Reaper, refusing to cross the River Styx and sidestepping our final judgment day.

31:29Don't dismiss the idea just yet, Bill. I haven't gotten to the best bit. As I say, keeping your brain alive after you're dead is relatively simple. I'm very confident that you regain consciousness within days. The next part is where it gets really interesting. Go on then. I don't feel really that I have a choice but to hear it all now, I said. That's the spirit. Landy's enthusiasm returned to his voice and he continued with a renewed zeal.

32:02Once you've died and the operation to remove your brain has been successful, then I get to work plugging you in.

32:11Plugging me into what? Everything, Landy exclaimed with a clap of his hands that echoed around my small room. The problem with the current crop of AI is that it cannot create his own consciousness. The large language models have access to all the information ever shared online but it doesn't understand any of it. All we've succeeded in doing is creating the world's largest version of soul's room.

32:43We put a question in one side and receive the answer out the other but we don't believe there's a conscious being in the middle. With you, we'll start with the consciousness and then connect it to all the world's available information. Think about it, Bill. You will have direct access to every word ever written, every opinion, every argument. You may be unable to watch or listen but you won't need to. The world's store of information

33:14will be fed directly into your hippocampus so that it will be more like memories to you. You won't need to learn anything new. You'll already know it and be able to recall it instantly. For a philosopher, this has got to be a dream come true. And you're wrong about not being able to communicate. We'll connect cameras to your optical nerve and microphones to your eighth cranial nerve. The electrical signals will emulate

33:45seeing and hearing perfectly. You'll be able to see better than you ever have done and you're here with perfect clarity. Your brain is a perfect receptor for sensory information. Your organic eyes, ears, tongue and skin all just act as peripherals to your brain. Our neuroplasticity allows your brain to adapt to any incoming signal. I predict that it will be able to pick up the signals from artificial technology just as well.

34:17In fact, research from Stanford University has shown this to be true. And the real showpiece will be that I intend to be the first to connect with Broca's areas in your left hemisphere so you can process language and actually talk. Now, you obviously won't have a mouth, but if we're successful with the brain's interface, we can connect the output to a speaker. Just think of it, Bill. You will be able to see everything,

34:48hear everything, know everything and still be able to talk with us. And you'll be able to see May. All of this, and because you'll no longer be connected to any nerves, you'll feel no pain. You'll have no distractions, no aches, no bad back and you certainly won't be struck down in your prime by a rotten pancreas. What about sleep? My brain will still need to get rest, surely, I said.

35:19We don't think that it will. Sleep allows our brain to regain the nutrients it requires to function. The organic process takes time and shutting down consciousness is a very efficient way to charge the battery. When your brain is connected to our supply of nutrients, we'll constantly monitor the levels and we'll be able to make sure you maintain a full charge. You'll never feel tired or exhausted. You'll always remain at the peak of your intelligence.

35:51Can you imagine what that would be like?

35:54Hmm. No matter. I think I would like to sleep. Its purpose surely goes beyond the simple biological need, I asked. Landy took a moment to consider this. I turned back to face him and saw that he had rolled up his shirt sleeves. It looked like he was ready to whip out his surgical influence and start the procedure right away. The wildness in his eyes had not dissipated in the slightest. Well, if you ever feel like a rest,

36:26you can tell us. We'll be able to adjust your levels to induce a kind of torpor, a metabolic slowdown, much like the capability we see in arthropods. The beauty of what I'm suggesting is that you will still be able to speak with us and tell us what you want. Landy had finished his pitch. He leaned back in the chair to the point that his legs almost tipped back. I could see that he was captivated by the prospect of being the first to connect a live organic consciousness

36:58with computer technology. It would certainly be an ambitious advance and I can't deny that the prospect of being the most intelligent person, well, brain, on the planet played to my ego.

37:12How long would I live? I said. Potentially forever. There's a jellyfish in the Mediterranean that never dies, except in the event of being killed by external forces. With all the needs of your brain automatically catered for, you could be immortal.

37:32Landy rose from his chair, clearly restless with the prospect of his future and mine also in a strange way. I'll come back again tomorrow morning. All I ask is that you consider what I said with an open mind. With that, he left my room, letting the heavy hospital door swing to a firm close behind him.

37:54I lay for a long time, studying the tarnished ceiling tiles while my mind navigated Landy's proposition.

38:02At first May, I felt revolted and physically nauseous. Even if the brain extraction was successful, which was not a certainty in itself, and Landy connected me to all the world's available data, the thought of being alive, but with no means of motion, no way of gesturing, unable to feel physical sensations, it would no longer be me, would it? We are more than our consciousness.

38:33We are a combination of the biological and the metaphysical, and surgically splitting one from the other is a perversion of all that is natural. I must say that, although initially repulsed, I was also entranced by the idea of cheating death. I am not being immodest in saying that my writing and work have met with great success in life and have proved my brain to be first class. Why should I choose to stop simply because

39:03my corporeal form is decaying around me? My flesh has done nothing but hold me back my whole life, but my brain has the agility of a young gymnast, and its uberousness has only grown with age. I don't know what life, if you could call it that, would be like when separated from my physical form, but I resolved that it would be wrong for me to pass up this opportunity. If given the chance, I imagine Einstein,

39:33Hume, Sartre, and Hawking would all have wanted to continue their work. My love, I have the opportunity to continue bringing light to the people of this world, and I decided there and then that this was something I couldn't turn my back on.

Landy Returns with News

39:52Landy returned the next morning and was elated by the news. He said that he would start organising everyone who needed to be involved and arrange the necessary equipment so everything would be set for my mini-death. Or, more importantly, my resurrection. We also talked about you, May, and how you would react. Landy was of the mind that I should share our plans with you, but I cut him short of this notion. I know that you do not

40:23naturally excel in this direction, and the thought of explaining this to you in my weakened state did not appeal. Instead, I instructed my solicitors to send you my words only if the operation and my rebirth were successful. If something went wrong, why bother you with this tale? It's better that you would remain none the wiser and never get to read these words. The fact that you are reading this now means that Landy is satisfied with the outcome and I am alive again.

40:55You may need some time to incubate what I have just shared with you, but I ask that you marshal all the pluckiness I know is within you. You will find Landy's details at the end of my message. Please contact him and discover what has become of me. This is the least you can do for me. If all has gone to plan, we may be together again soon, my love.

41:19P.S. My energy is now depleted and I didn't get time to express my thoughts about our marriage. I sincerely hope this won't be the end and we will have the rest of our life together. However, if something does happen to me, I urge you to live a good life. Keep the townhouse and envelop yourself in all the memories it contains. Refrain from the streaming services they hold nothing but distractions for you. Enjoy my vinyl collection and please resist

41:50the modern, quantised and auto-tuned racket that I frequently caught you listening to. All in all, continue in the vein of which I left you, but I hope, beyond all hope, that this will not be the end, but a great new beginning. Yours, Bill May slowly closed the lid of her laptop, extinguishing the light from the room. She let the darkness of the night envelop her as she tried

42:20to come to terms with the situation she unwillingly found herself subjected to. When Bill was first diagnosed, she needed to deal with the thought of months of uncertainty and upheaval. When Bill was submitted to the hospital, she sat with him through all the treatment, the after-effects and how his mood deteriorated. And now she has to deal with this. Will it never end? She remembered that the week before his death, Bill's mood lifted.

42:51May thought he had simply come to terms with the inevitable and accepted his fate. It turns out that this was probably when he decided to proceed with this beastly scheme. She reached across to the side table, and picked up a nearly empty packet of cigarettes. Being able to smoke openly in the house started as a treat after Bill passed, but was quickly becoming a habit. When Bill was alive, she needed to conceal them where they wouldn't be found,

43:21in the washing powder box with a favourite. Now, she had packets all around the house. One evening, she even smoked while sitting in his beloved Chesterfield, watching a US thriller box set on a new 4K television.

43:38Her phone was next to her cigarettes.

May Contacts Landy

43:41At the end of Bill's letter were the contact details for John Landy. It was late. Calling now would likely mean that she wouldn't get a response. In truth, she didn't really want a response. May wondered if she could ignore the demand to contact this man. The email was sent a fortnight ago, and there had been no follow-up. Could she just pretend to have never received it at all? Then she remembered about read receipts on emails. Would the solicitors

44:11know she had opened the email and the attachment? If she phoned now and got an answer phone, she could say that she's going away and delay the idea until she was better prepared. May scrunched up her eyes as the smoke from her exhale formed a swirling cloud around her. She extinguished what was left of the cigarette on a saucer and picked up her phone.

44:37She waited for the ringing to switch to the automated answer machine when a man's voice picked up. Mrs. Pearl, is that you? The voice asked. Hello? Yes, who is this? How did you know who was calling? May was fumbling for words, unprepared for a conversation. My name is John Landy. Bill gave me your number and I put it into my phone so that I would know you were calling. I mean, it's a real pleasure to finally speak

45:08to you, Mrs. Pearl. Please call me May. Of course, of course, thank you. I've been waiting for your call. The voice was bright but courteous. May felt it was holding back, not fully comfortable with bringing up the subject for which she had called. May decided that she should come out with it. I've just read Bill's letter. I hadn't seen the email until this evening. I know, I got a ping when you opened the attachment so I thought

45:38she'd be calling soon. I didn't want to miss it, knowing how excited you must be. She waited for him to continue. Bill is alive! That's the headline. We did encounter a couple of unforeseen glitches but your husband regained consciousness a week or so after we removed the brain and placed it in the incubation chamber. Isn't it wonderful that you'll be able to be back together again?

46:06May hesitated slightly longer than she should have before confirming that this was indeed good news. John Landy asked if she would like to visit the hospital the following morning as they had much to discuss. May agreed before ending the call and reaching for the final cigarette in the packet. it certainly wouldn't be her final one of the evening.

46:30The next morning saw a downpour of rain as May walked to the hospital. Water dripped from her blue plastic raincoat onto the hard elevator floor as she ascended to the ninth level where Dr. Landy had directed her to meet.

46:47Landy stood only centimetres away from the lifter door as it cranked open with a groan. He almost sprang into the lift with May before composing himself and jutting out his hand in a greeting.

47:00Mrs. Pearl it's such a pleasure what a wonderful day this must be for you.

47:07May shook his outstretched hand while still in the elevator before moving out into the corridor. It looked like every other hospital she'd been in. The washed out green of the walls symbolised calmness and healing but contrasted with the violent scuffs and scrapes she assumed were created by colliding gurneys. The strip lights flickered at an amplitude which May felt was certain to bring on a migraine. She could smell the disinfectant used to sanitise the floors or maybe

47:38that had something to do with preserving human remains. This thought snapped her back to the reason for her visit. Where is he? May asked. I can see that you're excited but I would like to talk with you before introducing you or reintroducing you I suppose to your husband. As I said on the phone last night the venture as a whole was very successful but not without challenges. You must understand that

48:08this was the first attempt ever to keep a human brain alive after the body died. There were bound to be risks. May followed Landy into a small office off the main corridor. He was still talking about the complicated nature of their endeavour but May had stopped listening. Bill had said that John was direct and abhorred small talk but here he was babbling without making any sense.

48:37What has gone wrong? May asked as she lowered herself into one of the wipe-clean plastic chairs. Nothing wrong, just not everything we had hoped for. When Bill passed, we had already successfully connected our artificial pumps and feeds, which came online when they detected that the natural resources had stopped. It remained alive but conscious as the surgeons removed the casing while not disturbing the flow of

49:07nutrients. It was gruelling work. After a day of unremitting effort, we had successfully transplanted it to a